My H was never one for apologies. He would say "I'm sorry you were hurt." but never "I'm sorry I did that." Our C has said that H had a real knack for putting his feelings in a jar and setting them on the shelf, and that people who were able to do that can never really be trusted because you never know what they are really thinking and they can change without any warning at all. I talked about that with beginnersmind and she said that her H also fit that mold. She never even got the "I'm sorry you were hurt." type of apologies from her H.
My C has also said that they types of people wear their values like a coat they can put on and take off. They never really internalize them. I am coming to believe that it's just plain weakness of character. But, don't beat yourself up for not seeing it. These people are also masters at deception (often even to themselves). They believe the BS they tell themselves, so why wouldn't we believe them too?
Perhaps I am getting too cynical. I really have to fight that because that is not the person I want to be.
Anyway, looking forward to seeing ya' this weekend!!
TJ
Me45,H49 D24,S18 M26,T28 Bomb 3/19/08 Sep 6/23/08 EA/PA with Secretary 2007-8 3/2009 H moved in w/OW2 7/2009 Let him go w/Love. 8/2009 Legally Sep'd
As if I don't have enough going on in my life. Earlier in the evening the doorbell rang and I just thought it was neighbor kids and didn't answer, since trying to stay cool.
Well early am I open the front door trying to cool the house and a business card from a sheriff drops to the floor with a note to me scribbled on the back to call him.
Well my heart sank. My first reaction, something happened to my h. Why does a sheriff come to your home unless death and wanting information? Of course, my body was shaking. I tried to call the sheriff back only got his v-mail. I tried reaching h and no answer.
Now I am left wondering what business does this sheriff have with me.
When is this nightmare going to end? I am sucked into a world I know nothing about.
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
well, the sheriff gets involved with foreclosure or i believe car reposession. maybe some other stuff but those are the 2 im dealing with now....i think u would know if your home was in foreclosure though. does h have a car he stopped paying?
me: 31 H:29 Son:5 m:8 years in november t:10 years first bomb: 10/06 moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08 ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06 d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08 moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
i know how u feel. my nerves are shot. when the rings, doorbell rings, getting the mail, my nerves are totally in an uproar, as if i just cant take another thing...if it were an emergency, if it were something really bad, they wouldnt just leave a note, they would call you.
me: 31 H:29 Son:5 m:8 years in november t:10 years first bomb: 10/06 moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08 ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06 d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08 moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
I hear you md. My nerves are frazzled with all that has happened lately. They could be trying to serve me for what I do not know. Possible failed business that my h was involved with. I have no idea, but just want all of this mess to go away!
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
would they serve u for that? i dont know that the sheriff serves things like that, but i could be wrong. process servers usually do. the sheriff gets involved at the end of things like repo and foreclosure...maybe google it? keep calling the number back and call the police precinct. u know u did nothing wrong, maybe they are looking for him. its still frazzling but not your problem.
me: 31 H:29 Son:5 m:8 years in november t:10 years first bomb: 10/06 moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08 ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06 d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08 moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
I did try googling md and like you said car repos and forclosure which neither would fit. I have to stop speculating and just hear what the sheriff says when I call. The problem I am a bit frozen out of fear at the moment and don't want to hear any more bad news.
How much more can I take. I am at a fragile state. This could send me over the edge.
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"