We all know that there are a few ways to approach a situation -- even to those who DB on this board. Some follow DB to every word, and some a little less. I was one who didn't want to take a hard line at first since my wife and I up until April 2009 still had some physical contact, had good conversations, etc. Yes, I did a little of DB and then I fell off the wagon, went back on...obviously I was not sending a consistent message.
I'm not seeing where you did EITHER. You didn't DB, and you didn't do the more "hard-line" approach either. You've asked for advice, multiple times, but I'm not seeing where you've ever FOLLOWED any of it. Can you point me to where you have? Maybe I missed it.
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Anyway, my wife will be out of the house as of Friday. I know I can't change her mind, but I don't want her to think (as you and Puppy wrote) that I'm okay with this. I don't want to cut off all communication lines by saying I won't tolerate this. She's going to move out anyway so I don't want her to believe that I want nothing to do with her.
Don't you think that keeping lines of communication open would be more helpful? I have to admit that I understand where both of you are coming from -- actions speak louder than words... I want to at least remain friends with her while she is going through this phase...however my actions then would be saying that I'm okay with what she is doing...
As long as those are the things that you are projecting, she will continue to have all of the power. She SMELLS that fear, and FEELS that weakness, and as long as you are more concerned with not losing the little bones that she chooses to toss you, you will never get anywhere.
