W is having Affair -- may leave soon -- thread 2

[SavingMyMarriage]

Okay, I'm confused now. I'm not trying to be difficult and it's obvious that what I did in the past wasn't working (I know I messed up). I know my actions haven't shown her that I won't tolerate sharing her with another man. I don't think I ever told her that, but I did share my position on the whole matter.

We all know that there are a few ways to approach a situation -- even to those who DB on this board. Some follow DB to every word, and some a little less. I was one who didn't want to take a hard line at first since my wife and I up until April 2009 still had some physical contact, had good conversations, etc. Yes, I did a little of DB and then I fell off the wagon, went back on...obviously I was not sending a consistent message.

Anyway, my wife will be out of the house as of Friday. I know I can't change her mind, but I don't want her to think (as you and Puppy wrote) that I'm okay with this. I don't want to cut off all communication lines by saying I won't tolerate this. She's going to move out anyway so I don't want her to believe that I want nothing to do with her.

Don't you think that keeping lines of communication open would be more helpful? I have to admit that I understand where both of you are coming from -- actions speak louder than words... I want to at least remain friends with her while she is going through this phase...however my actions then would be saying that I'm okay with what she is doing...