OK, W has been a little cool lately. For the past 2 days, she really hasn't said much. I am not bringing up R or anything. She saw her IC yesterday and didn't say anything about it. We did talk about kids' birthdays coming up. Last night she went to bed very early, so we didn't spend any time together after the boys went to bed. I don't know what I am expecting. I know not to expect a sudden request for a hug, or kiss, or an ILY, but I thought after the weekend I would see something. Well, we aren't avoiding each other, maybe that's something. I have been initiating more conversations since then. Maybe I should stop doing that.
Me-40 W-41 Together-10 M-8 S-6 S-4 Bomb 5/08 Bomb 10/08 Thought things were better, was wrong. Still living together Wife doesn't think she will ever love me again.
I would say "bad = GOOD" at this point. If she is genuinely making a move back toward your marriage, then she is going to go thru fits of moods like this. Because this was NOT the path she thought she was going to walk down, and now it is, then she may be coming to grips with that.
It's not fun to admit to yourself that you were making a horrible mistake. If she does come back to the marriage, then everything she did was for naught, and she almost tore apart her family for nothing. That's depressing.
I see this over and over again on other people's threads -- it's script. Her mood will be all over the place at this point. Just validate her, be supportive BUT NOT NEEDY/GRABBY, and call her on any TOTAL b.s. if you have to, but otherwise let her be.
Thanks for the support, puppy. When you spell it out like that, I have an easier time dealing with it. Thank God for this forum! I couldn't have made it as far as I had without it, and everyone here! If my M makes it intact after all this, I feel like I will be a M expert!
Me-40 W-41 Together-10 M-8 S-6 S-4 Bomb 5/08 Bomb 10/08 Thought things were better, was wrong. Still living together Wife doesn't think she will ever love me again.
Without question. Regardless of my outcome, I intend to keep visiting here and offering whatever I can. If the M is saved, I plan on joining the pre-cana ministry at my church with my wife to help engaged couples before they marry. God willing, it will work out that way!
Me-40 W-41 Together-10 M-8 S-6 S-4 Bomb 5/08 Bomb 10/08 Thought things were better, was wrong. Still living together Wife doesn't think she will ever love me again.
I have always believed very strongly in marriage. Personally I want to be in a loving relationship. The partnership between a man and a woman in marriage is, in my view, the basis of society. Add to that that as a Roman Catholic, I believe marriage to be a sacrament, a holy union made before God. This belief has only been made stronger by my recent experiences. I have always believed God was calling me to his service. At first, I thought it was to the priesthood. Then, later, I thought it was to the Diaconate. Maybe the calling is to serve by helping to strengthen couples' marriages. We shall see. I hope to serve, either way, with my beautiful wife by my side.
Me-40 W-41 Together-10 M-8 S-6 S-4 Bomb 5/08 Bomb 10/08 Thought things were better, was wrong. Still living together Wife doesn't think she will ever love me again.
Without question. Regardless of my outcome, I intend to keep visiting here and offering whatever I can. If the M is saved, I plan on joining the pre-cana ministry at my church with my wife to help engaged couples before they marry.
I have had the same thoughts as recently as this morning. Once my sitch develops into whatever it is going to, I plan to get involved in something either with my church or otherwise to help people in their M's. Almost like it was a plan that I go through this to (a) learn more about myself to get stronger and better as a person and (b) to be able to help others going through this he!!.
Remember, no expectations. It was a good weeked for you, but it will take many good weekends. Keep the faith.
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08, S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012! Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.
