A Little Epiphany - (and a newbie delurking)

[Dia]

Ok, really *wierd* interaction.

H, kidlet, FIL and I were all sitting on the floor cleaning up a Monopoly game after all playing together. H was chatting to his dad about the possibility of getting his eyes lasered, something H had chatted to me about earlier since his glasses broke earlier this week. FIL said that choosing a Dr. is pretty important, so H should ask around for recommendations from people who have had it done.

And H glibly responded with, "Oh, OW's mother knows a few of the doctors in town I can check with her." The conversation continued between the two of them after that, but I confess that I didn't hear a word they said. After the shock wore off - a minute or three, I excused myself to the deck and said I wanted to look at the stars before bed.

Just about every emotion imaginable hit me - hurt, humiliation, jealousy, rage, wanting to quit, wanting to pack up right then and there, take kidlet and drive 200 miles back to my Mom's, wanting to write to OW and tell her to back the F%&@#* away from my husband - you name it. So I laid there in the hammock for maybe 10, 15 minutes, got my game face back on and went back inside.

The game was put away, FIL was in the shower and kidlet wanted to be read to before bed. H was trying to make some eye contact but the vibe was sort of awkward - not sure if it was him or me, probably both. We sat on the couch and read to kidlet, then H tucked him in.

When H came out, I asked if I could speak to him for a moment. My tone was soft, compassionate (I thought) and fairly matter of fact. This is what I said.

"I feel hurt and humiliated when you talk about Robin in front of me. The old Dia would have kept it inside and let it fester. The new Dia will tell you about it. I'm not going to be pissy or b*^%$y about it - but I am going to let you know."

Ok, that alone is a huge 180 because I'm non-confrontational to the point where it's harmful to me. I was so afraid he'd get angry, tell me to leave, etc.

He didn't.

He apologized.

He said it was an accident, it just slipped out and there was nothing he could do about it right in the moment w/o calling more attention to it.

Then he hesitantly touched me on the shoulder... and pulled me into a hug.

I am stunned speechless.

Anybody care to tell me what the heck just happened? And was I right to say something, or did I just make a huge DB mistake?

P.S. Anybody want to put money on the contraction happening as soon as we wake up tomorrow? *eye roll*

And as far as taking the kidlet, getting in the car and leaving, that's what I did when the A with my best friend came to light and it was a mistake. So at least I appear to have learned something?