Going straight forward...antlers 5th thread.

[antlers]

I could be way off base here, but if the shoes make your D happy, and they aren't causing her any harm (how could they), then to he!! with your W's issues with them. Doesn't sound like it's really about the shoes.

Is it a control issue for your W?

It doesn't make you a better person like you think it does

Sounds like jealousy to me. Or guilt?

Sounds like you handled it perfectly.

They aren't bad...just some hi-top Converse's with some splatter paint on them. Also, our kids really like being over here...they have lots of friends in the neighborhood...neighborhood kids are over here all the time. Daughter has a friend spending the night with her tonight, and she was with us at the kickball game tonight. None of that when they are at their mom's place.

This way of communicating with her...listening and validating...and NOT arguing or defending, is very different from the way I've communicated with her in the past.

There may be some jealously or guilt...I don't know.

I feel like the response was OK too! Thanks.