During the divorce process, I relied on my brother, folks I trusted, to help me with the wording when I had to respond to spouse. I was intimidated and clueless on how to write without getting caught in reflection and emotion. Sometimes after talking with my brother he'd almost dictate what I should write. I felt so helpless.
If your wife is used to turning to others for help with her writing, she won't stop just because she's not using your skills. I can imagine a scene with her counselor, friends going over the correct way to phrase picking a mediator without being antagonizing or emotional, just matter of fact... which if you're getting divorced is a good way to be.
The house is a big issue for her. Talk about what is the best way to divide the belongings. Help her pack. Make it easy. I didn't view any 'family' items passed down, like my Grandmother's silver, his mother's antique lamp as being part of the marital assets. He agreed with me. They were separate and not included in the tally sheet. We split what we accumulated through our union.
Perhaps your wife has hopes of keeping the house as part of the divorce... who knows. That will come up in mediation. Stuff is stuff. And what you can afford and want as a couple is far different as a single individual.
Good job on saying you understand her, but not going into detail. The less you say, the less likely you'll be distracted and derailed. Asking to move back in after leaving is a little unrealistic.
Enter into this with no expectations, no intentions. Protect yourself financially, settle on what is fair. The more agreeable you are to moving forward, the less reason she'll have to dig in her heels.
The greatest control comes from letting go of control. The ball is in her court.
And you're doing it again... giving her prime real estate in your mind. All your thinking has no impact on what she does, only drags you down. Let go of that rope, my friend.
