H left me 5 months ago today. I am feeling this sense this week that I really need to start moving forward. No more hopes that he'll contact me or at a bare minimum speak to his stepchildren he helped raise for the past 10 years.
I still hold out hope and pray daily that God will soften his heart and we can rebuild a friendship, and work on a new M someday but I have come to the realization this week that those days are so far off I need to stop holding my breath, take some deep ones and move ahead. First order of biz is redecorating the bedroom. I'm going to move the furniture around this wknd, and probably repaint. Other than the photos I took down early on, everything's the same and it's not healthy for me.
I want to set some ST goals with H but I don't even know where to begin. Contacting him didn't work, and not contacting him doesn't work either. He must be hurting a great deal to not reach out to me or my family abt my dad. Even his own father (my FIL) came by the hospital to see dad, but no messages or contact from H. That is what's convinced me this week that I really need to disconnect - emotionally. I love him, but I have to love him enough to let him go. If he comes back, we'll see what we can rebuild. Til then, it's just me and the kiddos. Five months of this S seems like a good point to reassess and make some changes.
