JKL, do you find that your W acts differently (in a good way) in front of your S4 or in front of company (friends and/or relatives)? My W seems to act a little differently (more on the loving/caring side) when I'm with relatives -- not to put on a show, but it seems that her mind is in a better place or more in line with good values when around family... I was wondering if you experienced the same thing.
Maybe I'm thinking too much about this or trying to put myself in her head...
Me:41 W: 36 No Kids
EA&PA: JUL08-OCT08 & MAY09-fwd
W said we may not make it: JAN09 W said she doesn't want R: 5/8/09,6/5/09,7/19/09 Moved out: 7/31/09
do you find that your W acts differently (in a good way) in front of your S4 or in front of company (friends and/or relatives)? My W seems to act a little differently (more on the loving/caring side) when I'm with relatives
I know my WAW fits this when we are around friends. I struggle to understand how she can slip in and out of that persona. But, I shouldn't really be surprised, should I?
The way a wayward assuages their conscience is by compartmentalizing the affair. Think of it as "rooms" in their mind -- they keep the spouse in one room, the kids in another, and the affair partner in another. They move easily from room to room, but it takes its toll.
Last night we had another realtor give us their review. Price came back much higher than first realtor. WAW very much wants to sell house ASAP. Heard all the same script about how miserable she is, how she doesn't trust me, how could she ever want to stay with me, etc. She wants out. I said I would prefer to wait until spring to sell but she said how could she live here for 6 more months. She pointed out I still don't listen to her and do the things she has asked, etc. Rough night, but again I listened and nodded my head as much as I could, not defending myself even when she really ripped on my inaccurately.
H35 W34 S4 | T-10 yrs M-6 yrs WAW said M over 04/09 | Living separate since 09/09 Thread #1 Thread #2 Thread #3
Well, the 2nd realtor had a much better thought of a price, so it is now full speed ahead with selling the house. WAW was very vocal this weekend about how she is upset and angry with me still, wants to move on, etc. She says she is tired of me "fighting her" on things with the separation agreement, house, etc. (Of course, her idea of fighting is me just not rolling over and giving her everything). She still talks about being angry because she needs to live in a nice place and a good school district and I am not going to support that since I am fighting her on amount she wants in child support, even though I am just following the law and advice of my attorney.
It is very clear that there is no hope for this M right now; she has only dug in more in the past 4 months. I suspect once we sell the house and are truly apart, she we resent me even more as she become more unhappy with the life she will be leading. Perhaps only after then, way down the road, will she look at things in a different way.
H35 W34 S4 | T-10 yrs M-6 yrs WAW said M over 04/09 | Living separate since 09/09 Thread #1 Thread #2 Thread #3
Wow, we really have some huge similarities. My w. also says I am not listening to her and fighting her often.
I wish I had something to offer other than hope for better days. I know I have had long stretches where I was convinced there was no hope. In my better days I focused on GAL and detaching. And now, maybe there is a little light...
God we're even pretty much the same age. Best of luck JKL. Hang in there.
