Ashlee, as you know, I'm as pro-"snooping" as they come, but not when you already know that he's cheating on you. Why are you torturing yourself?
Honestly I don't know what I thought I'd gain by snooping. I'm actually glad I did this time cause it just confirms what I thought. I guess there's also the fact that H keeps repeating he's not cheating, he's not having an affair etc... that I do it to prove to myself that he is. Okay, yes, lame excuse.
I think part of me does it for the reason Gardener pointed out:
Originally Posted By: Gardener
Causing more pain for yourself or arming yourself with facts and dispelling suspicion? Only you can say.
Arming myself with facts. I want to have all the proof I need in case the M goes south.
Originally Posted By: Gardener
Amen, Sister Ashlee.
Can I get another?
Me: 39 H: 39 S: 15 M: 18 years Bomb: 6/3/09 H moved out: 10/15/09 H moved back:5/30/10
I think just to be funny gal you need to ask him when his work trip to Philly is and then get all excited and jump up and down and tell him you'll be there for work too! See what happens then.....
I think just to be funny gal you need to ask him when his work trip to Philly is and then get all excited and jump up and down and tell him you'll be there for work too! See what happens then.....
I think just to be funny gal you need to ask him when his work trip to Philly is and then get all excited and jump up and down and tell him you'll be there for work too! See what happens then.....
LOVE IT!!!
Or you can just, right before he leaves for it, tell him you "have a big surprise for him," and when he asks you what it is, tell him "you'll know soon enough -- for sure, he'll find out when he's on his trip." (of course, this is all just a smokescreen, natch).
I'm currently reading Dr. James Dodson Love Must Be Tough. Good book. Making me ponder the choices I have and wondering if at some point (question is when) I should give H an ultimatum. It talks about the disrespect that your spouse has for you when they are involved in an affair. I have set boundaries which, for the most part, have been followed.
Several days ago it hit me like a ton of bricks - that I was not good enough, not worthy. I was thinking no one would ever love me enough to fight for me. Of course this all stems from some things H said to me. Being rejected hurts. After a bit, though, I realized I can't think like that. When it comes down to it, with the sitch and our M like it is at this moment, H is not good enough for me. He doesn't deserve me. He's acting like a complete jacka$$ and honestly I'm tired of it. Sometimes I think "Let the bi!ch have him!" The man (if you can call him that) he is right now is NOT the man that I want to be M to.
I don't know if I'm coming across as bitter or angry but I'm trying to pull myself up and make myself strong. I'm tired of the sadness, the tears, the hopelessness, the feelings of unworthiness, the rejection, the anger, the rage. It's so easy to get lost.
I think something is coming to a head. H asked twice yesterday (morning and evening) to ML. I feigned boredom and was like "H (Name), really?" The unattractive remark entered my mind but I wasn't feelin' it. Either way, H got pi$$ed off both times and hasn't spoken to me since the last time he asked.
Me: 39 H: 39 S: 15 M: 18 years Bomb: 6/3/09 H moved out: 10/15/09 H moved back:5/30/10
I have read much of that same book also. Thought it was good but not nearly as insightful as DR. I'm at a similar point with my wife, at what point do I give her an ultimatim. Their is no affair but a lot of other baggage. I feel the same way as you. I know that I deserve a better person than my wife. But I also know that this person right now is not my wife. I don't know if my wife will ever return. And at some point this all must come to a head.
So I guess you have to ask yourself when is enough, enough?
Me-47 WAW-42 D-16 S-14 M-22 yrs T-19 yrs ILYBNILWY-3 years ago. Full Story and original posts: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...066#Post1781066
When it comes down to it, with the sitch and our M like it is at this moment, H is not good enough for me. He doesn't deserve me. He's acting like a complete jacka$$ and honestly I'm tired of it... I don't know if I'm coming across as bitter or angry...
No, you're not, though you've every right to be.
No, you're coming across sounding healthy. Loud 'n clear.
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
