Rough days can be good for you Meat, sometimes they are even necessary. It reminds us that we have a long way to go before we are healed.
Thinking about things and wondering how to behave and such is futile. Just be yourself punk...... Seems to me your forgetting that you are holding all the cards now.
You have worked very hard to become an independant strong man and not need her anymore. You have become self sufficient (exept for this bizarre codependancy thing you and Mach have going on), and you have put yourself in a position to come out a winner no matter what.
If God decides that your X wife is going to be part of your life again, you will know. Just relax, keep being yourself and stop the stress.
The finances issue, dude... join the fricken club. Give blood, $35 a pop 3 times a week. :-)
