3 1/2 years into MLC

[Holly06]

I have had a few interesting developments lately, encouraging really, and I thought I would share with anyone interested what it can look like 3 1/2 years into the MLC tunnel.
We are divorced, OW is gone, and TJ seems to be surfacing somewhat. My IC says it looks like reconnection. I am not so optomistic, but it IS encouraging.
Since OW is gone,I have had several + contacts with TJ. We attended D22 college graduation together, and he was uber polite. Eyes looks haunted, and he was nervous.
He sent pics of event 2 weeks later.
Had a text for mother's day. Very sweet.
Sent a text for father's day. nice reply.
Had to contact regarding a financial bit, and he responded very kindly and upbeat. Ended the exchange with Good luck!!
He had the kids for the fourth of July. I sent a favorite dish. I got a very nice thank you...it was great...been a long time.
Acting on some prompting from some friends here on the board
I sent a silly email about 2 weeks ago. I got a + reply.
All his written communication has had !! ending it.
Then last week.
My birthday. I was expecting a text. 2 days before, I got a present in the mail from him. He attached a big note, in the style of his birthday cards when he loved me,
Happy 52nd Birthday Granny!! TJ
He framed a pic of D22 and I from graduation, that he took.
I was floored.
I responded in a voicemail, and teased him about calling me granny and thanking him. The next day, on my birthday, he text me ur welcome... have a great day!
I have only received one gift since this mess started, and that was when we were reconcilling. Only text, and not always. (OW put her foot down).
It is so nice.
He is taking up golf again. I know because he used paper from his new golf club. Must have joined.
His sister has seen him and he seems more relaxed.
Lots of contact with the kids.

I have several other friends who are about the same time frame, and there has been a change, progress with all of us. Mostly good, but progress nonetheless.

It feels so good. Like the old TJ.

Now for the disclaimers.
TJ has never gotten nasty. No monster or ugly behavior.
He has moved 4 hours away. Contact is limited.
We did attempt reconciliation. dismissed the divorce. He got spooked, the only reason I can honestly say, is it was too good. Naturally, we did not attempt any of the issues, but I did demonstrate how I could be gentle, and forgiving. Just enjoyed each other. Very few R talks, but we had to get reacquainted.
I have never whined, pleaded, or acted needy. I have gotten on with my life as best I could as a single empty nester.
I have a career I love, but it does not fill me up.
I miss being 1/2 of a marriage, but he does not know that.
I am a bit mysterious.
I try to let him make the contact when ever possible.
I did not interfere in his affair. It ended a natural death. I even wished him well in the relationship.
It was easier for me to detach, because we did not have many issues to keep in contact over. We have none that we have to be in contact with now. His living 4 hours away, starting a new life in a new state was heartbreaking but in the end an advantage.
I feel very positive about my sitch right now.
Of course, it can go either way, and then many possible outcomes.
I have been able to intuitively know the direction this is going in. History bears this out.
But if anyone is interested to sit on the curb and watch this unfold, I will share the sites, insite and out!