So since today is my update day, another story/update.... so co-worker shared with me an article this woman wrote 3 yrs ago for the NY Times about how Shamu helped her marriage and it was about how she observed trainers teaching wild animals and decided to use the tactics to improve her marriage. The main technique is reward the good behaviors, ignore the bad behaviors with no response whatsoever. She saiys that negative or positive attention fuels a behavior (DB right?). Anyway, so I've been practicing this tactics myself... but it's so difficult for me to just shut up.
So Friday was actually my 5th anniversay. Yea, I've been saying 5 yrs of hell, but more like 4 yrs and 1 collective good year. Anyway, I usually like to celebrate our anniv but this yr I figured why bother, we're not even together anyway. But H was good and sent me a happy anniv text in the morning. Then Fri night he had plans to go out with his cousin, and I was totally thinking that that sob is hanging out with others on our anniv. And usually he would had heard it from me. But I practiced doing nothing. Late teh evening, he texted me to find out what I was doing and total DB I acted so happy and casual - like nothing was wrong whatsoever. He said he was bored at the function and I told him to have a good time, and I'm off to bed. 4 in the morning H was ringing my phone and I ignored it - why have him disturb my rest after he finished hanging out. Then I heard the door bell ring, so I knew it he was outside. Once I opened the door low and behold H was at my door at 4am with roses. It was a true surprise. And not to mention a good lesson for me... shut my mouth and practice doing nothing.
