I'm so disappointed and frustrated with myself today. My landlord finally found someone to rent my place, so that is a load off my mind. The landlord is being cool about everything, but I had to call Her to talk about the logistics of how we make this work with the landlord. Last week I offered to have her come get her stuff out first, but she declined. I plan to move out Tues or Wed and I called to make sure that she could get Her stuff out by Sunday. I called to talk about things. She just called me back to talk about the move.
The good news is that I kept pretty even and non-emotional throughout. We were talking about dates and times and She is all weird about my move out date. I told her I'd be out by Wed. She wants to know if she can move stuff out Wed night or not. Whatever. She asked about what town I'm moving to. I've told her this already. She wants an address, which I don't have finalized yet. She says "i just need a place to send legal stuff to." I told her that I was easy to find. She could always send it to work.
She has this thing about trying to get the vehicles signed over. I feel rushed. She has my truck, which is in my name. I have the car, which is in both of ours. She keeps giving me this story about feeling insecure driving a vehicle that isn't hers. Whatever. It hasn't been a problem for 7 years, or for the last year she's been gone. My flags are all going off. So, we're supposed to have some financial agreement signed before our court date. I told her once that was officially signed I would sign over the truck, but not before. The excuses she's giving are lame. So she comes up with "I want this taken care of before you leave. This way you don't have to drive back up here." Thoughtful. Pardon the sarcasm, but my 3 hour daily commute hasn't been on Her radar, now she's trying to save me a one day trip? I'm not buying. I did say, after seven years, the least I could do is drive to sign some forms. I should have just stopped here.
I didn't.
I asked why she was trying to avoid meeting me in person. I asked if I did something to make her mad? She's says no, says there really isn't any anger. So then I asked, if there's nothing really wrong, how do we go from talking and spending time with each other (and having a generally good time) to getting served in one big swoop. I think that seems kinda disconnected. Her response: "I just think we need to get some logistical things taken care of first." Ok?!? Then, "so are you going to sign the truck over to me on Wed?"
I'm frustrated that I can't just let stuff go and walk away. It is NOT in my nature to stop fighting. I'm hoping that I don't mess this up any further. The good news was that I was eeriliy calm and emotionless. I wasn't begging or whining, just asking legitimate questions and stating facts. I don't know. I don't like one conversation setting me spinning. The move is coming soon. I'm trying to get out Tuesday ... just to mix it up a little and get out of here.
- don't sign the truck over.
Just my 0.02 cents.
Living without you means consequences and it's not being mean to say what you want. You want your truck, you keep your truck. Let her have the car. Seriously you feel the need to give her everything she wants amicably and nicely.
If you give it to her, it's almost like you're giving her a gift and what would be the motivation behind that, so that she likes you and changes her mind at the last second.
Keeping the truck for yourself demonstrates that you value yourself and that shows you have significant self-worth and self-value. She obviously doesn't feel the same towards you otherwise she wouldn't be asking to take YOUR truck.
If she has excuses as to why she wants the truck, just remember they are just excuses in a long line of excuses about every quirk in her existing behavior.
Excuses don't explain and explanations don't excuse.
If you want someone to tell you to keep the truck and I'm kind of sensing that with the mentioning of the truck several times throughout the last few posts, you are worth it, keep the truck and let her deal with the fact that getting rid of you means getting rid of any advantages being with you provided. If there is no sense of loss at her end concerning you and whatever you represent to her, how would she ever want to get back with you - you make it so that you enable her every whim, you make it so that there is no loss.
When there is nothing to lose, there must be everything to gain and that's what she currently sees from her point of view.
Please keep the truck and start exhibiting self-respect & self-value by admitting to yourself that you are worth it.
If you give it to her, you're just supplicating her and that won't do you any good but if you enjoy shooting yourself in the foot, by all means, please do it.
