Thank Rob. I've saved a bunch of the posts from you, Puppy and Greek and others. I reread them now and then to sort of recharge my batteries and for clarity. It's hard to see clearly sometimes when you're in the middle of this stuff plus it's emotionally and physically draining.
Solid advice from all. This woman is an alien and it's going to be a helluva ride in the next few months. I don't see closure on living arrangements until at least after the new year. Still no filing - not sure why. But don't believe it has anything to do with 2d thoughts on her part.
Cabbr
I don't know about "alien" (LOL!) but she is a totally different person from the woman you originally started seeing, dating, loving and eventually got married to and had children with.
She is an emotional being who is currently in love with her feelings which at the moment tend to be at total odds against you and your logic.
Male logic, female emotion. Logic will never trump emotion.
Reasoning in your head that your wife should not be doing any of the actions she is currently involved in and she shouldn't be this "evil" person towards you is a waste of time.
Don't rationalize it, don't reason it, don't try to sort it out with your logic. Nothing of what she does right now can be explained by logic aside from a few things:
- along the way she lost respect for you - losing respect meant she stopped loving you the way she did originally - loss of respect for you is what killed her attraction & love for you - along the way she got the idea that she could do whatever she wanted at your expense and hurt you in the process and she rationalized her behavior as being ok - since she doesn't respect you, she looks at you like you are a doormat that she can walk all over without any consequences - standing up for yourself will rebuild respect between the two of you, stopping her from walking all over you is healthy for you to do because you will start to rebuild your confidence (which is attractive), your self-value and your self-respect
Drop the rope, don't communicate with her anymore, let her do what she wants with her life as long as you aren't affected. If she does something to adversely affect your life, put your hand up in a "STOP" motion and tell her "that's enough!". Learn to say "NO" to her, tell her that you can't control her but you sure as heck control what you yourself do and you will from now on and that means putting a stop to her crap behavior towards you. You will no longer reward her crap behavior with your attention and you will stand up for yourself when you need to so that she knows that you won't be pushed around or bullied into something you don't want.
cabbr, you're worth it, I'm glad you are starting to realize this.
