I would say, from experience w/my X, that she doesn't respect you as his father...or at least she wants to channel her anger toward that outcome.
My solution was to stop asking and just start doing. I TOLD X that I'd call D every night to talk to her briefly, then I asked her if 6:30 or 7:30 would be better for her?
I didn't give her the chance to be in control b/c she has no right to try and keep me from talking w/my D. So, I told her what I was going to do and gave her a choice on the time. She ended up settling on 7 pm and we always talk around 7...and X and D talk aroudn the same time as well when she's with me.
I would recommend you doing something similar. Also, since you aren't divorced yet, I would document everything and try and get her to communicate via text or e-mail as often as possible. I hate to say it, but you may very well need the proof for court and custody purposes.
