Good, so you agree that I should not even entertain the idea of him spending time with ow's daughter. Pup, I love your idea of 3rd party hand off, but I don't know why that seems too harsh. H and I discussed at one point him and I picking up son together, but I know that will be so problematic as well. No way will ow want that and she will resist and not give H his son. She uses the boy to pull H in. Am I being naive in thinking like this. He's even proposed that when he picks him up, he calls me. How's that as an alternative? And also what about son calling H, he will and I don't want to stop that either. H says that times he knows she will keep his son away from him.
Another part of this though is that I think H doesn't want to detach either. He told me several times that one fo the things that kept him involved is that he feels sorry for ow and also that he worries about the kids, and he knows that she depends on him (which I think is one of her games as well), and he has lead her on too into thinking that he will be with her. So I think he feels bad to just walk away. Not my problem though I feel since he has create this own mess and just kept digging a bigger hole. That's why I think if I make this easy he will take the easy route and try to keep up the crap.
So I gotta set these boundaries. All our friends and family are telling me I gotta be careful and to be strong. They and I feel like this has been going on long enough, I swear I think H is just immature and afraid to make tough decisions so he's taking the chicken way out.
