Thank you for posting. I remember that my sister told me recently XH said to my niece that he is very happy with OW. That was at the very beginning of their R. And what happened? They broke up after having lived together for about two years. Last Christmas XH wrote to me that since he left me he had no love anymore!
I asked him not to write to me anymore about his GF or what they do and therefore I don't know if he has OW at the moment. But he does not like to live by himself and surely has somebody.
On another note, XH already replied to my recent e-mail since I asked him for some advice.
In my e-mail to XH I mentioned how nice summer is where I live and that I go swimming a lot. He wrote he is glad that I enjoy swimming.
He also wrote that he is reasonably happy and quite likes it where he lives, but that he sometimes misses the RV and what he did in summer in my area. If he could he would come every summer for a few weeks to do it but of course, it would not be possible financially. He also mentioned that it will be his birthday soon and that his age seems so terribly old to him!
It always makes me sad when XH writes, especially these days as we always enjoyed summer together the most.
Sounds to me TL like you XH is about to roll out the 'poor financial situation' carpet again. Please watch out for the rolled up corners and do not trip on it.
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
They definitely try to suck you in regarding financial matters. I am done listening to that babble. They need to vent elsewhere.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
I'm turning the tables on my STBXH. For years he has been threatening to take me to court. He does indeed currently have a case pending BUT my L has just put in a petition to have a counter case from me heard first. It feels so good to finally be in more control of my own life.
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
Thanks for posting. I know the MLCer tries anything to get as much out of us as possible.
ACJ, good on you that you acted first.
I phoned XMIL yesterday since I have not done it for a while. She told me that she was not well for weeks, that's why she never returned my call. She was even in hospital for check-ups since they didn't know what was wrong with her. It turned out that her problems resulted from stress!
I told her about the money for the car I sent to XH and she suddenly burst into tears. She thought it was a very nice gesture. I told her that I didn't feel comfortable knowing that XH wouldn't be safe on a motor bike.
We had quite a long chat about lots of things. Amongst others she said that she though XH would still love me and that I should tell him I have a BF and see what his reaction would be. (He was always jealous.) I told her that it is said one shouldn't do that. (But then I remembered that is probably only during the "standing" period, and after a D it is probably different.)
Amongst some bad news she was also able to give me some good ones and said that we should finish the convo on that good news.
I went swimming in the afternoon and enjoyed it very much although I was alone. In the evening I meat a GF and we went for an ice cream to my favourite restaurant on the water front.
This morning I replied to XH's e-mail he sent on 27th. I mentioned that A FRIEND would do something for me but I didn't mention the sex of the person. I didn't mention to him that his mother was ill. (I don't know whether to mention it or not.)
He already replied in the afternoon! He gave me some advice and even told me for the first time where he lives, although I wrote that I didn't care to know! So far he didn't react to my writing "a friend would do….".
We have had a super week so far and today I went swimming with my GF again. I seem to be worn out from the sun because in the evenings I don't feel like going anywhere anymore. So I ended up lying in the garden until sundown.
On the week-end I intend to go out to some events and my sister will come on Saturday to stay for a day or two. I hope the weather will still be nice and warm so that we can be outdoors.
I wish everybody a good rest of the week and a lovely week-end.
True, You are doing well. I do hope you have a wonderful weekend. I'm glad you called your former MIL. Your call shows her that you are a classy lady and do not hold grudges.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Thanks you Snodderly, BND and nlt for your posts. I hope you are alright. – OMG, I just noticed that I haven't been on the board for over a month!
In the meantime quite a few interesting things happened. For one, I thoroughly enjoyed August and it made up for the lousy summer we had until then. I went swimming almost daily and enjoyed the area I live in very much. It was almost like being on holiday only it was free! I also continue to GAL.
However, occasionally my mood swings are still from very high to very low and on some days I am still very sad. (I never had any mood swings before this crises.)
Here is the update re XH:
XH wrote to me in a more relaxed and funny way and also told me a bit about his life, more in the style the old XH wrote.
A few weeks after I talked to XMIL she phoned me to convey a message to XH. So I did and also wrote that she was not well. I was told by XH that he doesn't communicate with her anymore and doesn't want me to be the messenger. He asked me not to call her anymore and not to mention her to him anymore either! He also wrote a few other things and at the end of the e-mail he made a joke.
I wrote a very long e-mail to him talking about all the things I did etc. and that I hope he won't be bored when reading it. He replied that he wasn't bored but enjoyed reading about the life he left behind! He even signed the e-mail with "kiss XH"!!! (he has never done that before). In his following e-mails he mentioned several times that the area I live in is hard to beat and that sometimes he misses it.
Then his birthday was around the corner and I wished him well on the day before since he was going away. He thanked me and wrote that he is healthy at the moment and happy and has "everything he needs" (whatever that means). He also mentioned a few things he did.
I sent him a photo of the area as his bd card by e-mail. He replied that he recognised where the picture was taken from. That he was thinking the other day that we did indeed enjoyed many good years together, despite the ODD arguments! That he never told me before but I was a good wife to him (he used my pet name). I was quite astonished about what he wrote and that he suddenly wrote "odd arguments" after telling me often that we argued ALL THE TIME before he left.
He also admitted that he liked to stay in touch with me and that only the business with me taking the money from his property turned him against me. And if I returned it he might even start to like me again (and he put a smiley at the end of the sentence)! (I just ignored that comment.)
After that e-mail I didn't write for about 6 days and I suddenly received an e-mail asking whether I was OK. In the past I often went dark for weeks and he never asked me that before.
Recently he started writing to me more often and sent infos and jokes, etc., wishing me a good time. He also replied to my mails within hours. I thought he might be bored since he started to write often, opening up to me quite a bit and writing in a more funny way.
Bingo! He wrote that he is a bit bored and that he might need a change and go away!
I am still not replying immediately to XH's mails but always wait a few days.
I am still looking for "Mr. Right" and just put an ad in a local magazine. I met a few more guys but I wouldn't have liked to spend my life with any of them.
Autumn is starting and I hate to think that afterwards winter will follow.
I decided not to post so often but might update from time to time. I noticed that it always makes me sad to read on the BB since it brings back memories. I need to look and move forward and not live in the past, but I find it so hard to do.
I wish you all a nice autumn, and maybe a few nice and warm days will still be left. Take care.
BND: I hope everything is fine with you and your family.
