Questions for you & I know everyone is sick of the same ones, but...
1. I see no evidence of OW. Let me tell you I am one smart cookie & darn sneaky at that, I can't find a thing. Oh I believe there COULD be one, but if there isn't it's one thing that doesn't fit w/MLC.
2. I see no evidence of financial abuse.
3. Aside from him being gone all the time playing bball & fishing (which I attribute to him wanting to get away from ME), I don't see any type of disconnect from the kids or any of his other responsibilites. He will tickle the kids, put them to bed, coaching S's football team, etc.
Did you ever go Trick-or-treating and have like two or three different costumes cause Mrs Jones on Main street gave out the FULL SIZE candy bars, and you could hit her house more than once ?
Same person, but a different mask.......
Hmmmm.....
MLC affects everyone differently. And to some, it is the complete uprooting of everything in thier lives.
To others, they seem to remain as normal as usual, except for the demons are tearing them up inside.
The facade that they wear will vary from one day to the next.
Are his actions consistant?
Or are they occasional.
MLC attacks the root of their character, and sometimes the personality remains fairly intact through it....
Each MLC is like a snowflake.....the same but completely different.
No, I don't think his actions are consistant. I believe the football coaching & things of that nature are not necessarily done as a dad, but as something HE WANTS to do.
And yes, I have been known to revisit a house once or twice on Halloween!
Well, I have MC tonight. I have to be prepared. Prepared for what? I guess to just be me. The new & improved me. If H says he is done with the M, maybe I should just say "That is great bc as time has gone by, I've begun to wonder what it would be like to find someone else. Someone I could have a REAL R with. Someone who I could truly know, who doesn't stuff their feelings down inside & someone who is not an empty shell of a person. Maybe that someone could be you one day if you ever decide to take off your mask".
I wonder how that would go over LOL
Me 36, Him 33 M 11yrs, T 15yrs S 8, D 7 ILYBINILWY - 1/09 H moves out 10/09 D to be final SOON I HOPE!
I've thought about the saying the same thing to my H. Or at least asking him "Don't you miss being you?"
Me - 30, H - 32 T - 10, M - 6, D - 1 DD#1 - 4, DD#2 - 2 on/off OW 4/09 - sometime Summer 2010 (Told me about OW 4/10) Separated 6/11/09, divorced 8/4/10, trying again 9/2011
I read something funny on another person's thread. They were coming up w/cards for MLCer's and one said: front of card: Look Inside inside of card: no, really LOOK INSIDE...
Me 36, Him 33 M 11yrs, T 15yrs S 8, D 7 ILYBINILWY - 1/09 H moves out 10/09 D to be final SOON I HOPE!
Questions for you & I know everyone is sick of the same ones, but...
1. I see no evidence of OW. Let me tell you I am one smart cookie & darn sneaky at that, I can't find a thing. Oh I believe there COULD be one, but if there isn't it's one thing that doesn't fit w/MLC.
2. I see no evidence of financial abuse.
3. Aside from him being gone all the time playing bball & fishing (which I attribute to him wanting to get away from ME), I don't see any type of disconnect from the kids or any of his other responsibilites. He will tickle the kids, put them to bed, coaching S's football team, etc.
Ask the same questions....get the same answers.
The things you're bringing up are symptoms indicative of an underlying condition. Does everybody experience the flu the same way, to the same degree? Of course not. Some get body aches and fever, some only fever, etc., etc., etc. And never mind that there are different strains...
Just like no two people are exactly alike, no two MLCs are exactly alike. Similar? Yes. Exact? No.
Your H may or may not have all the symptoms because he may or may not have all the baggage that the other MLCers do.
Whether he boards with 50 steamer trunks, or only a small carry on doesn't really matter...he's punched his ticket on the MLC crazy train, and only he can decide where he gets off.
If you are still doubting this, Hope, ask yourself a simple question.....
Have you or anybody else noticed changes in his ability to deal with the world rationally?
I think we both know the answer to this.
PATIENCE AND FORTITUDE CONQUER ALL THINGS. -Ralph Waldo Emerson
DBing and MLC take their toll....Please provide exact CHANGE. -Jimbo
I read something funny on another person's thread. They were coming up w/cards for MLCer's and one said: front of card: Look Inside inside of card: no, really LOOK INSIDE...
HA! I love this! Brilliant!
PATIENCE AND FORTITUDE CONQUER ALL THINGS. -Ralph Waldo Emerson
DBing and MLC take their toll....Please provide exact CHANGE. -Jimbo
Jimbo - I think what is really bothering me about those points I keep bringing up...is that I want OTHER people to see the MLC crazy. Not at the expense of a relationship w/our kids. I just hate that his mask is so good. I want some cracks to appear. I don't want people thinking "Wow, they must not have had a good M behind closed doors." I know, I know, it shouldn't matter...
Mach - you have a point w/the word "rational". Yeah, I do think it is an escape to occupy himself long enough to shove those demons out of his head and to once again stuff down his feelings.
Me 36, Him 33 M 11yrs, T 15yrs S 8, D 7 ILYBINILWY - 1/09 H moves out 10/09 D to be final SOON I HOPE!
