Everytime we bring up YOU and what you need to do for YOU as far as solution based counseling goes you tell us about what you are cooking or what you ate for lunch.
I am sorry, I am not knocking your faith and I am glad you do have faith but IMO you are using your faith/religion to avoid doing the real work you need to do on you.
You still talk about your W each day, almost each post. You just transfer one thing to the next... C'ing, AA, religion, BA job and nothing really gets done. It seems by you having faith in your religion (good thing) you feel you dont have to do the actual work that religion cannot provide you.
You must begin to live your life as if you are already divorced. I feel that is the only way you will get anywhere. And I dont mean go date or sleep with women, I mean live your life as a divorced man who chooses to remain single but is all on his own with your W NEVER coming back.
Its hard to keep up with you because you jump around so much, ignore the questions and answer with faith based responses, ignore the questions and tell us about your meals or you babble about your W and how to attract her back.
I am sort of at a loss on what else to say to you. I think everybody is.
Kevin - I can't agree more with what CG has written here. I actually think you should go have lunch or dinner with a woman. Not romantic or anything like that - just as friends. I did that and took me right out of my funk. You have to recognize that life goes on. And that you will attract members of the opposite sex and that you do have something to offer women.
I think FIB pointed out to me early in my sitch that maybe 5% of us save our M's. That hit me like a ton of bricks.
Everyone here is telling you the same thing - DETACH. Lovingly Detach. We can't all be wrong, right? LOL.
Bro, it is hard. I think it's incredibly noble that you are standing by your W, and love her so much. That's awesome and says a ton about your character. But at some point, you need to focus on YOU. And i'm not talking about cooking meals., I'm talking about living. You need to start living again. Bro, I'm telling you that your W will never see you as attractive if she even has a hint of what everyone else sees here.
Let go of the rope....Detach....Get busy living...
You can handle it.
Mules
M 43 W 44 M 17 T 22 S16,12,9 Bomb 2/05/08 I served her 1/06/09 S'd 3/15/09 D'd 12/21/09
"Tough times don't last, tough people do." --My Dad to me years ago, me to my boys now.