Wow, you really have me beat on the MIL thing. Mine is bad, full of guilt, bribery, paranoia (when she was living here the neighbor put trash in his trunk and she decided that he had cut up his W and was disposing of the body because the W hadn't been seen in two days, on vacation), and of course no one can do anything right, no one considers her, everyone just wants her money (she has none) and it is everyone else's fault that she has nothing, no house, no car, etc... Well she always wanted to live in an apartment because she did not want the responsibility of owning a house. She had a company car. One person, one car. When she got rid of the company car she COULD have gotten her own. And her sons, well, let's just say that they are both screwed up and all she does is manipulate them to try to get them to still take care of mommy.
You know, I have read a lot of things about inlaws lately and three things keep sticking in my head. The Bible states that a man should leave his family and cleave unto his W. Which to me says, you still love your parents but your wife and the family you create with her are to be your focus. I recently read study results that said that for every 100 miles separating inlaws impacts the ability of a M to last. The third was actually about a law they have in Italy that says a W can require MIL to stay away if she is creating issues in the M. Things that just make you think.
Stop trying to please her. When I did that, it was extremly empowering for me. Although my mother thinks I'm wrong and that it is causing more damage in my M, I told H, she is your mother, if you want to expose yourself to her and her ways, that is your choice. I love her but I will not be a party to it anymore.
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
