My choosing when to stop trying to save my M is one of the few things I have control over. It is my choice. I know what I can and can't deal with. If I keep trying, and ultimately it doesn't work, well, I did ALL I could. I wouldn't be able to say what if I did this, or I should have tried that. If it does work, then the reward obviously outweighs any pain experienced during the trying. And another thing, life isn't always easy, in any aspect. Pain is part of life. I can experience pain, get through it, and indeed use it to better myself. I don't know if that makes sense. It's a self-sacrifice thing. I will endure the pain in order that W and I will eventually be happy. All these ups and downs that I am experiencing really can add up to where I feel like I've been beaten up. But like a boxer in the ring, I will continue to get up after each knock-down. Then, I will decide when to leave the ring. Kinda rambling, but it was just some stuff running through my head.
O, allow me to be the first one up in the Virtual Standing Ovation that you deserve.
"I am leaving, I am leaving, But the fighter still remains..." S & G
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
