New Post for Wifey

[The Wifey]

Writing out the things I am grateful to him for has helped me more than it has helped him. The negatives float through and I push them away, then find another positive to write down. I'm up to 257 so far.

I find reaching out to help others helps me to be strong. I will continue to reach out as long as a I draw a breath V1olin.

[The Wifey]

Quick Journal:

I discovered that somehow H has the idea I can't get along without his help. Kind of an interesting dynamic since he claimed to not want to have to be responsible for anything. And he wants to be my friend and be there when I need him. Hmmmm.

I gave this a lot of thought. Way back in the early days of our R (and I am talking in high school and into college, then the early years of M) he liked being needed. I became pretty independent and certainly the S has taught me to be more so. I've learned how to do things I never would have imagined.

But back to my thoughts on this. H was absolutely livid the last time I mowed the steepest part of our lawn. It's too steep, I worry you are going to get hurt, you are so small you don't have the counterweight to keep the mower from rolling over, AND YOU PROMISED you wouldn't. Not quite at a yell, but certainly a decibel or two over normal conversation.

Aha moment. He doesn't want to Have to be responsible, but he wants to help. So I tried an experiment. I went against my grain of I'll show him I can do everything without him and asked him for help. Something dumb. The tank on the grill ran out today. So, I sent him a text that the next time he is over could he do me a favor? I don't know how to take off the tank or put on a new one.

I know perfectly well that I could go on the internet and figure it out and I could do it.

Anyhow, he answered my text in like 5 seconds. Couldn't do it today but I promise I will come after work tomorrow and get it done for you. Hmmmm. Scratching my head here.

I respond that it didn't have to be tomorrow, no rush, just the next time he is over. H also apologized for NOT mowing the steep parts of the lawn over the weekend. (I did not mow them this week.) I told him it had been wet over the weekend to just let it go for this week.

Am I crazy here, or do you guys think I should start asking for help now and then? I thought guys preferred strong, confident women that wanted, but didn't need them?

Does he want to rescue the damsel in distress or am I out of my mind on this?

[Gardener]

W,

Am I crazy here, or do you guys think I should start asking for help now and then? I thought guys preferred strong, confident women that wanted, but didn't need them?

Actually, W, I prefer a woman to want and need me.

Does he want to rescue the damsel in distress or am I out of my mind on this?

Wifey, we're Fixers. In my case, I'd say I always feel a desire to help my wife and be responsible for the ol' domicile (especially the physical cave-man stuff like domesticating the lawn and wrestling those ol' propane tanks to the ground!).
1)Ask every now and then (combine Strong, Confident and Damsel)
2)See if he does indeed come by to do the tank and mow the slope without further reminders).
3)Watch his reaction each time you StrongConfident and each time you Damsel.

That'll be $.02, please

[The Wifey]

Gardener,

Thank you for the man's perspective. Here's your $.02!

This whole thing is kind of like a dance. I love to dance, but this one is making me dizzy.

I will tell you he was very concerned when I was laid off from my job. I could tell he was thinking that if he proceeded with anything legal that he would have to pay me lots of money.

I never said or intimated such. I didn't expect it. I didn't say I was independent, I showed him.

Now that I have applied for an awesome opportunity, career job, he seems to be more relaxed. His eyes were as big as saucers when he saw the canvas letter I received in the mail. For civil service, they canvas the eligible candidates in case some of them would not want to be appointed to a certain location, or at the salary offered.

I am trying not to get over-excited, but this would really be a career position that I could be in for years.

I don't know where we go from here. But each day is a new day and I'm still grateful to be here. I wished the bomb had never fallen, but my personal growth since then is an item on my list to my husband that I am grateful to him for.

I challenge anyone reading this - Can you write out a similar list? Can you look past the hurts and the negatives, and write out what you are grateful to your spouse for?

[Gardener]

Wifey,

I challenge anyone reading this - Can you write out a similar list? Can you look past the hurts and the negatives, and write out what you are grateful to your spouse for?

I accept.

{(())}

[The Wifey]

Great, any other takers?

Ooops, so busy here I missed my hair appointment! Gotta' buzz so I can get beautified.

[v1olin]

I will take the challenge too. My wife has taught me a great amount about myself these last 4 months alone.

[Gardener]

Wifey,

I challenge anyone reading this - Can you write out a similar list? Can you look past the hurts and the negatives, and write out what you are grateful to your spouse for?

I accept.

Aw, dammit, Wifey, every time I write a couple more down, I start to cry.

[Tomato]

I challenge anyone reading this - Can you write out a similar list? Can you look past the hurts and the negatives, and write out what you are grateful to your spouse for?

KelliJo ...i think you just gave me something to do today.

Now I almost wanna ring your neck cuz no way no how did I even come close to not having enough other things to do today. LOL

But I suppose at least beginning a list of grateful things would not take very long

[Tomato]

hope you are doing terrific KelliJo.

I will be praying for the exciting job oportunity, for you and for H abd loved ones.

oh and btw ..if you think of it, tell that VA Beach sis of our's to stop pestering me on FB and keeping me up way past my bed time ..lmao.