Thank you all for your concern, and for checking on me. We are hanging in there. Our daughter's situation has sort of rallied the family, as ours is known to rally, and it's drawn us closer together. We've had health insurance issues, first as we were afraid that D20's non-full-time student status would jeopardize her insurance, and then as we came to find out (after working to get a waiver on that) that our insurance plan doesn't cover pregnancy-related issues for dependent children anyway.
Arrggg!!!
But we were able to help her apply for Medicaid, and got the good news yesterday afternoon that her OB/GYN (that the fetching Mrs. Puppy also goes to) accepts Medicaid, so praise God!!
We met with the child's father on Sunday, and then went to my in-laws to tell D20's grandparents, so it's been a stressful few days emotionally. D20 is doing well though, no nausea in almost two weeks now, and she seems calm and even a little excited. Although this CERTAINLY isn't the way we wanted her adult life to start, in many ways this pregnancy is pulling our family closer together.
Everything happens for a reason.......You are handling everything very well. A testimony to your strong, loving family. With what is happening to her, the natural consequences will be tough enough to bear....thank God she has parents like yourselves.
It's a fine line to walk, as a parent and as a society. For I feel that far too many people either take one extreme position or the other: either they cruelly "disown" their children when they get themselves into trouble, or they celebrate the unmarried, unplanned birth as some sort of "cool status symbol" and there is no stigma attached whatsoever.
We are trying to convey to our daughter that we are disappointed in what she DID, but NOT disappointed in HER AS A PERSON. We love her unconditionally, even as we hate some of the decisions she's made.
FWIW I made the dumb decision in high school and ended up with two sons out of my first marriage. I was 18 when my first son was born, and 19 when my second was born.
My life hasn't been easy - but I wouldn't trade anything because the experiences I've had taught me a bunch. In the end, what this means is that your daughter will have to forget about the 'fun' part of being a young adult and grow up faster than she wants (or needs to).
As long as she has love and support I'm sure she will do just fine. That has been my secret... a family that didn't exactly cheer, but who made the best of the situation.
If you need advice from the perspective of someone who put themselves in the same situation let me know.
"You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into."
