My H was never one for apologies. He would say "I'm sorry you were hurt." but never "I'm sorry I did that." Our C has said that H had a real knack for putting his feelings in a jar and setting them on the shelf, and that people who were able to do that can never really be trusted because you never know what they are really thinking and they can change without any warning at all. I talked about that with beginnersmind and she said that her H also fit that mold. She never even got the "I'm sorry you were hurt." type of apologies from her H.
My C has also said that they types of people wear their values like a coat they can put on and take off. They never really internalize them. I am coming to believe that it's just plain weakness of character. But, don't beat yourself up for not seeing it. These people are also masters at deception (often even to themselves). They believe the BS they tell themselves, so why wouldn't we believe them too?
Perhaps I am getting too cynical. I really have to fight that because that is not the person I want to be.
Anyway, looking forward to seeing ya' this weekend!!
TJ
Me45,H49 D24,S18 M26,T28 Bomb 3/19/08 Sep 6/23/08 EA/PA with Secretary 2007-8 3/2009 H moved in w/OW2 7/2009 Let him go w/Love. 8/2009 Legally Sep'd
But, don't beat yourself up for not seeing it. These people are also masters at deception (often even to themselves). They believe the BS they tell themselves, so why wouldn't we believe them too? 
