WAW - Very confused and devastated - pt 11

[confusedinpa]

We chatted about what frustrated her for about 15 minutes when we took a break during the "8th Grade Hook Up".

She talked about how I made her feel like hired help in the past (i.e. cook, cleaning lady, laundry, etc) and that I didn't make her feel special nor did I make her feel like I wanted to help her. She said even now when she comments about something around the house, I get all angry and defensive and make her feel bad.

She said the prior weekend she was frustrated that she had to come over to help with the weeding. She didn't understand how after 9 years I still couldn't figure out what was a weed and what wasn't. I told her coming from Brooklyn, if it didn't have a dandelin, and it was green, to me, it looked like any other plant we had. I told her that the boys and I had spent many hours pulling what we thought were weeds and I wasn't mad, but more frustrated that we still didn't get them all. We did try but I'm not a gardener so the boys and I made our best efforts. It's like how there are some things that she may not excel in (i.e. plumbing and electrical work or automotive) that I would take the initiative in.

She seemed to digest that as she had gotten a little quiet after that.

So, what she said that she was frustrated about are very odd things. I can't really fix them, other than make sure she doesn't think that I'm mad and take the time to listen to what she says.

The boys did call me tonite to say goodnite and at the end of the call she said goodnite as well.

So I've officially started my new job 180 miles from home.....