I worry that resentment will be creeping in, regardless of whether or not he continues contact, because the REAL deal is that you need a more intimate/passionate connection.
Like I said before, just an observation. And I am just now hopping into your thread (ie, I haven't read your whole story), so I acknowledge I could be all wrong.
I don't think you are, really, and I'm thankful you put it out there as clearly as you did. I guess I've been on the "right" side of this issue for so long that it's easy to slip into resentment instead of trying to make things better.
It's also true that *I* really don't *want* to try anymore. Everything fell on my shoulders when H started this, and it's still up to me to tend to the M. I feel like I'm doing a dang good job taking care of my own crazy MLC stuff (after supporting HIS and him making me to blame for everything), and I am just exhausted.
Everything in me just wants to scream "Do Over!" like little kids playing kickball, which is the MLC stuff talking...I know this. But on top of having to manage that, I have to battle H's contact with the whore and find some way to overcome my distrust so I can have a closer connection?
I just don't have the strength or desire. I want H to step up and carry the load for a while. I'm tired, and I have done my part. I have been truthful, I have asked for what I want and need, and H just does whatever he wants and reaffirms my belief that I shouldn't trust him.
I have to take care of myself first now.
SD
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
