My wife of 23 years served with legal separation papers and moved into her own apartment three weeks ago. Here is some background. I'm 45 wife if 42 (left me within a week of turning 42). We have been married for 23 years (24th anniversary in one month). I spent 23 years in the military and retired three years ago. After I retired from the military my wife started hard on her own career. She started coming home later and later every night. In Dec she went on a business trip. While on the trip she went out for dinner and drinks with some people she met at the conference. She met a guy there who she said was really nice and they danced and hung out. I did not think much of it. However, upon her return she was VERY different and distant. I questioned her about this, but she said everything was fine. She started staying up late at night doing "research" on the internet. I came home from work one day and found her emails on the computer from some guy who stated how much he loved her and all the lost time they needed to make up for. I confronted her on this and she cried and said they were only friends and she did not mean to lie to me. After that things went down hill fast. We went to marriage counseling and after two sessions my wife would not go anymore. We went to a female counselor and after two sessions the counselor "fired" us saying that unless both people were ready to work on the marriage it was a wast of time. The counselor said it was obvious that my wife did not want to work at this time. A week after that while grocery shopping a found a gym bag in her vehicle with several pairs of panties in them I asked her about that and she said I was stupid. She than told me that she loved me, but was not in love with me. From that point on she pulled further and further away. She said that I had not loved her good enough during our marriage and she was no longer happy. She than started sleeping in her work clothes (no intimacy at all), she than moved into another room in the house, she than served me with separation papers, got her own apartment and moved out. The first week she would call and say how much she loved and missed me. Week two she called less. Week three she started screening my calls. Week three and a half she told me the marriage was so broken it could never be fixed. She has not talked to me in over a week. I have avoided calling her and trying to use the no contact / detach. My life sucks as I have no idea what to do at this point. I'm currently attending individual counseling for help and depression.
What can I do to save my family? We have two sons. The oldest 19 yo is home from school for the summer and will not talk or spend time with his mother. The youngest 15 yo spends a week with her and week with me. They are both falling apart.
