Hi Orich, I had memories to flood back when you spoke of going to your parents and your W feeling uncomfortable. When my H and I were much younger, I tried to S from him for a short time. His family were all talking about me and our stitch. As soon as I went back home to him, guess where he wanted to go? I felt so tense and like everyone in his family were staring at me and judging me. It was really hard and I don't think he thought about it for a minute. I even asked him not to make me go over there, and he said he's support me......yeah, okay....but "how" would he show support? He didn't say anything or do anything to show his support. Anyway.....sure made those old memories come back reading your post.

I was praying about you and your W today b/c I have this picture of the two of you in my mind. I see this couple who love each other and are struggling…each in their own way. Orich, I treated my H so badly when I was in my WAW mode. He didn’t deserve how I treated him anymore than you deserve what your W is doing to you. She is so confused and trying to work things out in her mind & spirit. I know you love her greatly to put up with what you have. I hope you can endure longer. Don’t set yourself up for disappointment, but don’t lay all hope down. Does that make sense? For an example…don’t expect the anniversary dinner to do some magical thing to your W and her change back to who she use to be before all of this started. However, you can hope that the dinner will be a baby step to the road back. Men seem to forget how long it took their WAW to get where she is now and that it will take a long time for her to heal. She has a lot of work to do on the inside that you won’t be able to help her with, b/c I am not so sure it has everything to do with “you”. I think she has to come to terms within herself about her life and what she really wants. I often find myself kind of torn over these stories about M with a WAW. I get angry at the WAW for how she’s hurt her family, but at the same time I know how she feels and some of the stuff that got her where she is.
I won’t give up hoping and praying for you and this stitch. I have a good feeling about it. Don’t let those road barriers scare you off if you see them crop up from time to time, okay?

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!