Not Me...Ever part 2

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Thanks, GIMA!

It is times like these that I learn to LEAN -- lean on God, lean on my friends and family, and lean into the storm.

Puppy

[Serenity13]

I am sorry Puppy and Mac...

I am at work and couldn't get right back to the site...

(((Puppy))) I am sorry you are having a hard time right now and I will keep you and your situations in my prayers...We seem to be having the same thoughts lately

I did question earlier "How much more"? But I have had a long chat with my MIL and also a few prayers and I know I won't fall...I know God will never give me more then I can handle...Seems like it but I know He won't...He won't give you more then you can handle either my friend...

(((Mac))) I am sorry I stressed you - didn't mean to cause a "ducks fit" and that you are almost out of smokes...I accept full responsibility

Go get some sleep my friend...I will talk to you soon...I promise you I am ok

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Thanks, Serenity. A friend and I were e-mailing today and I had this thought that what may initially seem to us to be "yet another wave crashing on us" may in fact BE God's grace, in that He didn't allow them to all crash on us initially, all at once.

In other words, He allows us to face them only as we can handle them, as promised to us in 1Cor. 10:13.

Think about some of the subsequent "crashes," and try to imagine them all piled on your ORIGINAL crash -- could you have handled them, all at once???

Food for thought.

Puppy

[Serenity13]

LOL...No my friend, I couldn't have handled it all at once, I know I probably would have been broken beyond repair and you and Mac are right..

I do need the help of my brother right now however I don't need the crap...

I understand completely that no one agrees with the choice I have made - That is fine however do I really need to hear about it each and every single day? The answer is no...

We may not agree on the choices I have made however how many times do I have to say...It is my life, my choice? The answer is at least 3 times a day...And quite frankly I am tired of saying it...

I wish people would let me be...

Let me live with my choice and keep their traps shut...

They have stated their case, my mind isn't changing so leave it alone...

That would help me very very much...

This may help you...Thought about this when I read your post above about the waves crashing

"Even when devastating storms cut their terrible paths across your life, the peace & love that God puts within you can't be touched. He will never leave you & He will give you the strength and the courage to rebuild your life and look with hope to a brighter future."

Not sure who wrote it but I love it

[Serenity13]

I looked up the passage you put in your post...Absolutely perfect...I needed that and I thank you for that...I will put that in my book right now

[AlexEN]

Serenity,

Haven't been around much, but reading the above, first of all, I echo what @Puppy said, but secondly, as bad as things are for you right now you sound SO much better to me than you did just two weeks ago. I just feel such a different mindset in your words... Notwithstanding the hand you've been dealt, I get the sense you are getting stronger by the day. That will serve you and those boys well, but don't be too proud to ask for help when you need it...

-AlexEN

[Serenity13]

Thanks for coming Alex and of course for your kind words...I am not trying to be to proud...It is very hard for me though because I would rather do it on my own...That would be pride talking

I do feel better most of the time then I did a couple of weeks ago...I only start second guessing myself when people start with me...As the days go on I become stronger, I can feel that even if it is only a little bit at a time - It is still a step forward and not backward...Could be the meds that have now been doubled as well

I hope you are doing well also...How are your kids? How is your son? I think about him and wonder how he is holding up under all this...I wonder if his emotions parallel mine on any given day and if so I feel for him...You and your family are in my prayers and (((hugs))) to you all.

[AlexEN]

Thanks, I think he's doing fine. They would have sent him back otherwise...

But, seriously, we got a post card from him and he sounded great... Threw in a jab to W by spelling family incorrectly (he spelled it "familly") and underlining it several times. I'm quite sure that was his message to her... But, I don't even think she got the dig...

Little guy is having a rough time with it; D11 still refuses to talk about it because it makes her think about it and she doesn't like to think about it...

[Serenity13]

Hi Alex...

I am so happy to hear your oldest is doing well...

I am sorry to hear about the younger ones though...

My little one thinks his Dad is away for work but still cries every night for him...

Says his prayers and always asks for his Dads' safety and for him to return home soon...

I don't have the heart to break his right now so that is what I chose to tell him...

My oldest is just angry most of the time since Dad bailed and doesn't bother calling (twice in 17 days)...

I try to be there for them and spend as much time as I can helping them...

School starts soon so that may be a good thing - Take their minds off of all this

I get up everyday and hope today is the day that he pulls his head out of his you know what...

I go to bed at night praying tomorrow is a better day...

I am no longer disappointed though when it doesn't happen...

I am finally finding ways to occupy my mind.

[pollyanna]

Serenity, I'm afraid I can't offer you much in the way of "advice" right now, but I can certainly empathize with you and let you know I care. I'm having a horrible week myself (found out my unmarried D20 is pregnant, the guy's a deadbeat, and she has no health insurance and mine won't cover a pregnancy of a dependent child), my other daughter's boyfriend is facing the possibility of losing custody of his 4 year old son, my income tax refund check keeps getting delayed and I can't get to Chicago to visit my ailing parents, and my wife and I -- while great friends -- still have ongoing issues that threaten our marriage.

I too have been left wondering "Why ME??" this week, and "How much more am I expected to TAKE???"

I'm sorry I haven't been around much these past few days, but I've been up to my eyeballs in medical and insurance issues, and trying to be there for my wife and daughters.

Remember your given nothing you cant handle

Look at each problem one at a time.

1. Good side is your getting a new baby - a bigger blessing than anything else.

2. Chances are the deadbeat boyfriend will bugger off and leave you and your family alone. Then your daughter is free of a deadbeat boyfriend and baby does not have to deal with useless dad. Fingers crossed.

3. Not sure how it works in your country but in mine, no one is denied medical ( almost free anyways ) . Surely there is somewhwere where you can turn to for advice to help your daughter through this. Bound to be, use your investgative skills and research your butt off puppy - thats one of your strengths.

God helps those who help themselves

3. Your other daughters boyfriends problems are his own. Be pleased it is her boyfriend and not husband ( chance they will split ) and that she has no children to him. Maybe a talk with daughter may steer her in right direction.

4. Your problems are your wifes problems. This could be what you need to pull together and get through this. May be the making of you.

5. Your tax cheque will turn up

6. Once it does - go visit your ailing parents. Meanwhile constant contact with them will be a relief to all of you. Care from a distance.

Sorry serinity about posting here. Not sure where puppy posts are.

Also for you - Try not to take stuff out on kids. They are going through hell as well. Everything you feel, they feel . think of that each time you get angry.

Plus in my country it is against the law to hit your child AT ALL. Not even a slap on the hands. No one can use any physical force to discipline a child. We await the results in years to come if this as an effective law. So if they push your buttons, imagine you lived in my country. Think of another punishment. Sorry not a telling off, just trying to offer you some red flags.