Lots of things happened over the weekend, here's quick list, more details to follow!:
- W got operated and is recovering now
- W getting driven to and from the hospital by a guy from her town (he stayed overnight at the hospital). I have been suspicious of him before, but never found anything that didn't jive as he's taking care of the rental buildings in town including her shop and she's had a lot of trouble with the utilities, plumbing, etc... so she did have to interface with him. But I am now REALLY questioning his motives.
- her parents found this out and her father was STEAMING when he got back home apparently (SIL told me this) and lectured her about that over the phone
- her dad told me he would just completely cut her off and that he hopes I get custody of the kids if we do end up D
- StepS13 was gonna move back down with W and I, then not, then yes again, W getting lectured by his father
- W getting unsollicited advice from people around her town how I (and her xH) are controlling her and encouraging her to stand up for herself
- W still thinks she can just move wherever I will move for the rest of our lives, so we don't have to separate the kids
- W says that I am doing so well now, I seem so happy now without her. It's awesome to see me being so much better (her words here!)
- W says that if she would move back in, I would just turn back to crap.
- Told her I am the way I am now, and I don't want to be like I was before, not for this R, nor for a future R, the changes are permanent.
- W told me that I am just trying to hold on and she doesn't think her "feelings" will change, it's not gonna just turn on like a switch.
- Told her I am not afraid to move on, start dating, or be alone for a while, but that I think I owe it to the boys to try every single little thing that could work to avoid them getting hurt (and pointed to the example of how StepS13 is now hurting and torn between his dad and her)
- Told her that I think we haven't really worked on our R/M in the past year, that it will take work to get "feelings" back. That if we don't talk about and work on things on a regular basis (only had 3 discussions in the past year) then nothing will change.

Those are the most important ones... I will try to update later tonight with some more details.