My audio book Codependent No more arrives tomorrow. I am looking forward to going through that.
I do believe that she will come back at some point. I just have my down moments.
It's Monday so I am heading out to talk to my priest again in a couple of hours.
Kevin
Kevin, It's a lot more than down moments...when you question what you offer your wife, you are asking yourself questions that were asked of you months ago, and that should have been addressed the first month of DBing.
We asked you to think about it, so that you could work on THAT b/c it's such a huge part of GAL. Finding things that make you interestING to others and interestED in others....hobbies, being into current events-join a current events club and learn from others-classes-developing yourself as a human AND last but not least getting the type of c that would lift your self esteem. LEARNING HOW TO BE HAPPY all on your own.... All so that you become the best man you can be, and bring more to the table to your wife, so she'd see that M to you now would be different than before. Remember those conversations at all?
Regardless, Anyone who feels he offers nothing to a woman "but love" is not offering much more than a charming homeless man. This is why we said the meetings and the c were so needed for you. Your self image sucks.
And that self image gets projected ALL the time in your posts here, and probably in your interactions with your wife, which you describe here, and which sound as if they come off as very needy and a big turn off.
So as much praying as you do, it does seem to focus a whole lot on her and for HER heart to change. How about praying that He guide YOU to become a man only a fool would leave and then you do whatever it takes, to learn how to be that man? There are resources God put out there for you; use them even if they make you uncomfortable. I mean, I specifically recall asking you months ago-- "what are you bringing to the table as a man?" and that question got nowhere.....it was forgotten other than your discussion/focus on money on occasion, and then today it's as if a light bulb went off and you declare now, that you are "bringing nothing to the table..." come on Kevin...
This is a statement, with content ONLY YOU control. Does that make sense? Do you see how only you can change the answer to that question? And you've had the time to do it. I'm not much of a prayer "leader" so pardon me if I screw this up, but I'm sincerely asking....how about this one?
"Holy Father we ask that Kevin find guidance in your Word and Love for him; may he keep his focus, and not be lead astray by worries of yesterday or tomorrow, or by the enemies ways that point to jealousy, fear, and criticism. May Kevin receive your guidance with an open heart and mind; we pray that he opens his heart and mind to all that you send him as tools for guidance and strength, and that you strengthen him in his quest to be the best man he can be, so that he may become the man, husband and father You want him to become...and we ask this in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit..."
Good luck and God bless, j-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
