In looking at what works and what doesn't work I have been wondering how much I should be initiating and how much I should not?
The thing that has provoked this is that I got a text from h on Friday apologising for not organising the birthday cake lunch that week in response to the invitation I issued. This is a pattern that keeps reoccurring whenever I ask him to lunch - work gets in the way. I used to massively resent this when we were in the last stages of being together but now it is fine, I don't take it personally.
The reason that I ask him to lunch is because, deep down, I feel scared to invite him to weekend or evening things, unless it is at his invitation, as it is ow's time. This is my hang up, not his. There has never been any indication of this from him.
So in response to the lunchtime cake thing, I just said no worries and let him know when I was away this week. BUT, I have a feeling it is not going to happen this week. If it doesn't shall I, in better terms, say scrap lunchtime. The bakery is in South Kensington where the Albert hall is, shall we get cake in the evening and then go on to see a Prom. On Aug 6th there is his favourite piece of music on.
Is it too much? Should I step back? The thing is that I feel if there is no 'reason' to meet, it is unlikely for him to initiate that often and we make the most progress when we spend time together and my aim was to do fun things like this again. The Proms is where we met and originally bonded.
This is meeting for pleasure and no purpose and doing something fun together again. A new step for us! I'm scared! I'm not sure how to handle things and I'm also trying to do it with no expectations. A difficult challenge.
