Yes, I am on the cusp of being a WAS, but a very different type of WAS. I just believe that you put your S first and try to respect what they ask for. I also believe there's only room for 2 in the R, and I'm not willing to share. I honestly don't think he has feelings for her anymore, but that's not the point. The point is we don't put ourselves in positions that are uncomfortable to our S or set up the potential for it to happen again.
Totally agree with you there.
I think what I was picking up on, though, was more that he isn't "passionate" (just "safe") and you are questioning the wisdom in being in the marriage. (As far as fulfillment goes.) Hence, the perfect storm. hmmm....I'll rephrase a little. I mean, it's possible to be a WAS because the other spouse is continuing the contact with the OP. (A la "Tough Love".) But in your case, it's not just that he continued contact, but *also* that you are wanting a more passionate, exciting life. That's what has me raising my eyebrows. I worry that resentment will be creeping in, regardless of whether or not he continues contact, because the REAL deal is that you need a more intimate/passionate connection.
Like I said before, just an observation. And I am just now hopping into your thread (ie, I haven't read your whole story), so I acknowledge I could be all wrong.
Me-43 H-46 M 12 yrs 7/09 T 15 2 grown kids bomb 7/05/07 H moved out 8/04/07 11/22/09 told him I quit;let's get ball rolling Mid Dec- he isn't sure he wants D End 2/2010-Starting to consider piecing
