Hike was good yesterday. Went for a beer downtown with FIL afterwards, and the waitress tells FIL that his son is pretty cute (met him last time they went out). Talk abt awkward! But I bit my tongue and didn't say anything to her. Upside - FIL knows I still care. Talked then abt if/when I'd start dating and I told him I'm not ready and don't plan to date for a long time. Told him abt how I wasn't supportive of H's job opportunity last Jan and things spiraled out of control after that. Told him I'd thought a lot abt how we could have made that work. He asked if I'd shared my ideas with H and I told him I tried in Mar (when I was still begging/pleading) but H wasn't open to hearing about it.
So, it was a good conversation. He's a good man and it was good to get some time away from Dad's sitch for a bit. I feel convinced that FIL believes H is 'done' and has moved on. But just like my other friends that think I should move on as well, I know it's not over til it's over and I have to follow my heart, pray for guidance and trust in God to take care of me.
At this time, I believe I am supposed to stand for my M. Just read a line from K4D that said "It is hard to stand and form your own life and let them live their's out of love". I think that's absolutely what I need to continue to do - form my own life, make it as great a life as I can, and let H live his life b/c I love him THAT much.
