*hugshugshugshugshugshugshugs* You're the best! I meant to say that who I saw was me.. a me I haven't felt in well many a year.
Got an envelop addressed to me by ex with stuff for the boys. The front was addressed to Mrs. Ms Gypsy. Unwitting mistake.. intentional? Stuff from him still make a sticky goo in my emotions. Gotta get more of a life.. and face crap I hate in dealing with him.
It takes some of us longer than others to detach. We all have our pace....that pace sure quickens however when we GAL. When a new love interest enters, then the pace really quickens. You and the ex were together for a while and had a family, a home and children. Don't be so hard on yourself, it will take time. Continue concentrating on you. The rest will come......
Sometimes I still get caught in the goo...usually around the time I take D8 back. I try to talk to myself and get out of that mood. One thing that works for me is to get away from the blame game of the past and more into the present. Who they have become and how they are living their life and what we are doing. Sometimes I go into thw what if scenario (we would get back together) and quickly realize that there is NO way it would work. That is my 2 cents....the past is just that a memory...live for today and work on a tommorow.
I lingered outside just now. The skies clear, the evening pure. Quiet pervaded, no trees whispering through fluttering breeze.
It happened once, it happened twice, then a dance of fireflies. Twinkling glow brought to Earth first here, then there.. everywhere. Images ne'er seen until pausing to look, gaze at the sky and find joy close by.
Standing quietly outside and noticing fireflies is much like learning to listen. I wasn't going outside to find them, the thought never occurred to me. But I was at peace enough to stand still and revel in what was revealed.
When I listen without talking, flickers of awareness light my thoughts. The message is always there if I take the time to step out of my angst, defensiveness, or 'have to know it all'-ness.
I've been m'lady GAL. My daughter's show is over. Closing night was equally wonderful.. still so magical. The two and half hours literally felt like a blink of an eye.
Guess what I did on Saturday? Always wanted to since a child. Had opportunities in high school and college. C'mon.. guess!
Alright... I auditioned for a show! I have no experience beyond a seventh grade annotated play (MacBeth), dramatically reading to my children when they were young and regaining the knowledge that I am naturally funny. It was with the directors of the play my daughter was in who also have their own small theater with five high quality performances a year.
I even called a friend who has extensive training in theater but a greater fear of rejection and gave her twenty minutes to get ready before I picked her up to audition with me. The play is "Arsenic and Old Lace" where the nephew discovers his two sweet but deadly aunties poison their male victims as a community service. I figured I could play old and sweet. The amazing thing is that the three of us (my friend, myself and a 'real' actor) were right in the moment, interacting while reading the script (twice). The director even was laughing during part of it!
What a great experience. I figured it was a win/win. Went in with no expectations, no intentions. A fear faced and acted upon. Got my foot in the door. And goodness.. what an incredible soaring, isn't life wonderful, blossoming, ever growing joyous moment that was!
My soul mate beach buddy I made during our annual trips to Florida flew in with her daughter who also became close friends with my daughter to see closing night. It's a quick trip, the first time I've seen her in two years and heavenly to have her around. She is such a beautiful person and so easy going. We're going into the New York City to sightsee today. They leave tomorrow.
