I want my Monkey and Sheep Back

[The Wifey]

Beepee,

Please read the book The Gaslight Effect. It may help you understand why people are saying these things to you. People assume roles in their relationships.

I am not one that would tell you to give up hope. I would, however, encourage you to think in terms of what you want in a relationship. Perhaps this will be with your H, perhaps with someone else.

If it is to be with your H, then you have to work on you, yourself. And you need to learn and operate from the point of view of what you would want your new r and then M to look like.

Certainly the old patterns and roles were destructive for both of you or you wouldn't be where you are. They can get better - but it starts with you.