OK evening. We had a dinner club thing with 9 other people from our Church. Really did not get to speak to W at all, and did not get to sit with her at the table. Oh well.
I sat at the other end of the table and carried on conversations with two different groups on my end - guess that's a 180 for me - I do not normally speak a lot at such dinners. I tried to see if I could catch W looking at me - never did. Practiced flirting with the woman beside me - nothing crazy that W could notice.
W looked beautiful (not "hot," but beautiful). That sort of beautiful that her outward appearance seems to pull from inside her. I don't think she thought so. But, she really did.
Earlier in the day, flirted briefly with W. She was talking about taking kids to one of our friend's pools when the pool deck was reapired. Our friend told her it was wall to wall workers there now. With a smile, I said, I bet the workers would love to see you. She replied "yeah" as if to say "I don't think so."
Tucked the kids in tonight after getting home. D5, with her little angelic face, told me my shirt (a linen shirt my W bought me pre-bomb) was "cute" and she liked it. That made my day. At least there is one female who isn't scared to give me a compliment on my looks - and I did look pretty sharp tonight. New cologne too - didn't wear it before bomb.
Sitting in bed typing this post, with my W a few feet across the hall in another room. Damn, so near, yet so far. Still have a lot of work to do. I can either feel sorry for myself (which I, nor anyone here, will allow) or I can embrace tomorrow as another day of opportunity for me. Think I like the latter of those two the most.
