I want my Monkey and Sheep Back

[mishka422]

Beep, something has been weighing on my mind and I think now is the time to bring it up.

As you said, there is a 12 year age difference between you. You have been with him since you were 21 years old. The you that you have described before your R with H was carefree, happy, living life large, and achieving your goals. As your R continued your H cheated on you, your self-esteem was pretty much eliminated, you fell into massive depression and totally lost yourself. Now granted, a lot of that has to do with your reaction to the situation, but a lot of the emotional reaction comes directly from your age as well. Your H should have been emotionally better equipped for the R than you by sheer experience. Oh, he was prepared allright......to control you! I can imagine the kind of excuses he made, the kind of comments made to you so that you eventually ended up apologizing for things you never did or for your own feelings about his infidelity. How close am I?

Why does a 37 year old man end up with a 25 year old wife? Because he can't hold his own with women his own age. He can't control them as easily unless he finds one that is already broken down with no sense of self-preservation whatsoever. I hate to say it Beep, but it seems a lot like you were played by him.

Now, go ahead and deny that any of what I have said is correct. I have a feeling that I have probably hit pretty close to correct on some of it at least. How do I know any of this? My xh is very self-effacing but managed to break down my self-esteem to nothing through years of mind games, lies, and passive-agressive behaviors.

I say these things out of love for you Beep and nothing else.