Fog is lifting for my german wife

[PortlandDad]

Thanks BR. I remember not too long ago being a bawling mess; thinking that it was all my fault and that I had been a horrible husband or else why would my W be leaving me and the kids? I dropped 70 lbs, cried incessantly, held on to every word that she said, endlessly analyzing every conversation and inflection of her voice looking for meaning.

For me, the path to healing really was letting go of the rope. I was helped along by circumstances: her lies became more egregious, her stories more incredulous, her assertions more absurd. I finally learned that she had been this way for years; right under my very nose. I had turned a blind eye to her behavior, her character. If I am to blame, it is because I should have seen the red flags much earlier.

I would hope that my sitch is atypical of the sitches here: my marriage is ending, and I am ok with that. In fact, I look forward to my next relationship. I am a loving person, with a loving family, and we didn't deserve what happened to us. I accept that my W is a philanderer and a liar and that she will find happiness someday, too.