Hello Kittyfish & Sandi2!

[BigJohn]

Don't do anything about the anniversary "before" she leaves. That is pursuing and nothing you say or any card is going to do what you want it to do (IMO). Wait and see if she calls while she's gone.

Give her almost all day and then if she doesn’t call you, and you’ve not heard anything about the OM and the A, I’d TM her and simply say that you were thinking of her while the two of you are apart on your XXth anniversary. You could always have something “waiting” when she got back home IF she doesn’t proceed with a PA.

Sandi,

I do recognize the card and/or letter as pursuing, I only gave it consideration because of our anniversary. I like the TM idea if no response from her by the end of the day- good suggestion. This is how I'll handle it.

Isn’t it ironic that she is planning this trip to have a PA and has left to go to a church camp? God may really convict her heart about what she’s doing, but most of it will have to be in how much she’s willing to open her eyes and see this stitch for what it really is and stop her fantasizing about OM. It would be “easy” to get caught up in the spiritual side of things while she’s out there out of reach of her real world and is “safely guarded” (so to speak).

I'd say it's ironic too, but since God had a hand in bringing her and OM together at this "crossroads" in her life(her perspective), I'm sure the rationalization of the EA won't miss a beat during camp. BTW, I was mistaken about cell reception at the camp- she TM me late last night saying she got to camp OK. So much for her being "safe" from the outside world while at camp this week. No doubt she'll be TM OM while there.

But when she comes back from camp, then she may quickly revert back to how she was before. I’ve discovered that when we are on a spiritual mountaintop that things are a lot easier than when we have to walk back down the mountain and go into the valley! The valley will be her test. We will pray that she will not only get her heart right with God, but that she will get enough spiritual courage and determination to fight the battles of temptation she’ll have to face. Most of those things don’t just disappear and we have to face them in order to be stronger. But, it is possible, and I sure hope it happens! Oh, now don’t I just sound sooooo wise???

Agreed. The best way to avoid temptation is to run away from it, not run towards it. I'd like to see her come back from camp with that realization in mind but I don't see it happening. This trip in August is her Super Bowl- she is going come hell or high water.

.....And you ARE wise.

Think I need to add a little more about the anniversary. That trip (if she goes) will determine the outcome of your M, I would think. Therefore, if she had the gall to “complain” about you not sending her a card or calling sooner on the anniversary, I would have to remind her that she made her intentions very plain and that any anniversary card/gift/etc., would have seem rather inappropriate under the circumstances.

It will be interesting to see if she does or says anything regarding our anniversary. I kind of doubt it given her past performance on my B-day and Father' Day (nothing).

I’ve seen so many of the LBH’s want to use the wedding anniversary as a reason for “action” on their part. Long, miserable hours have been endured by a lot of H’s wondering what to do. Many of them were advised not to do anything but send a TM….or at the most, a simple non-romantic card.

It's funny you mention a simple "non-romantic" card- I was looking for one of those among the anniversary cards at the Hallmark store yesterday and simply couldn't find one. Plenty of romantic cards though. You'd think by now someone would've thought to produce "Thinking of you while you stab me in the back" type of cards.