True Love or True Fog? Changing Forums

[Silver Fox]

Thanks so much Pearl for checking up on me. I had to take a break - didn't mean for it to be so long! I spent most of it with my brother who lives on the coast, so I had lots of beach time. I checked in periodically to try and keep up with everyone but decided not to post.

H sent an email 2 weeks ago responding to my lengthy email questioning him about D terms. His response - "you asked so many questions I don't know where to begin" - and he didn't, just more of the same, saying "this offer is going to suck for me." Well boo hoo.

Now his L has requested a preliminary hearing for August 24. H sent another email saying that if we have an agreement it can be a "final hearing."

Operative word - AGREEMENT. We're not even close. And I promise I'm not trying to delay the D any longer. But there are huge decisions to be made concerning the house and alimony - decisions that will affect the rest of my life.

My blood did run cold for a minute when I read "final hearing". But I've come a long way in 2 years and 4 months. H refuses to give up the OW - has moved in with her - but still says things like "this is not about her". Bullsheet. She's controlling his every move. I'm sure she didn't think this would go on for 2 years either! But I'm also betting that she didn't realize she would inherit an MLC man/boy with no job, no health insurance, no house, no self esteem.

He insists on a D, he'll get his D. I'm doing a 180 now and completely embracing THE D. If H showed up on the doorstep tomorrow and asked for a second chance I would really, really have to think hard. Guess I've reached Mt. Detachment.

Funny story - I have an 18 year old niece, not very educated. Dropped out of high school to run off with her boyfriend. Came back alone and pregnant. Now trying to raise the child while waitressing. She tells me in her very southern accent "What you need to do is get yourself another man! Make yourself unavailable. Show that sorry jacka** your life is just too busy for him anymore and you'll do just fine without him!