Thanks all for the discussion. Years ago, the # had been 85% want to come back, the detractors were LBS had moved on, or didn't want them, or MLCer was afraid to ask, for fear of being rejected by LBS. Those were good odds, as long as we DB'd and didn't screw up too badly, so that MLCer did not want us. I've tried to follow the rules, GAL, DB, etc. The only movement, is farther away. I know it shouldn't matter if the sky is blue, or the # are there, but, I do not play lotto, because the odds are so poor. It seems like these odds are even worse. When do we LBSs simpy become dreamers, out of touch with reality? If we truly love our spouse, will we be forced to live our life alone, without love and companionship of a man, or, consider ourselves failures? Is this board just to help us out until we can accept failure or justify leaving? No one comes here for that. We come here in hopes that we will find a way that we can be with our spouses again.
There are days I almost wish I was one of the LBS that got so angry, and gave up, and could maintain anger. But, I was not angry with H. I am still not angry.(I do truly feel OW is the scum of this earth). I am still so much at a loss as to how he changed so much right under my nose, and went from loving to me, what appears to be a combination of apathy, hate or if he simply wishes I never existed, and is embarrassed that he ever loved me. I'm really not sure which it is. MLC seemed to explain it. But, some days, I wonder if MLC is just a figment of our imagination. If so, it has kept me hanging on with hope for 7 years. (well... MLC and the hope that if I prayed, the prayers would be answered).
Hopeful and Forward, I am always on the look out for anything nice I can do for H, that doesn't make him feel pressured. I do find something now and then. On those few occasions, he seems to appreciate them. I have asked him if we could just chat sometime, like firends. He never accepts.
