i havent read all of your situation but i know how u feel about the ow. u can talk to your attorney about it. i believe until u are divorced, if she has shown reckless behavior u may have the right to say u do not want her near your children.
check my thread, i just had the ow in my situation brought up on charges for harassing me. and now she is not allowed near my child...
me: 31 H:29 Son:5 m:8 years in november t:10 years first bomb: 10/06 moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08 ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06 d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08 moved home:3/09 out again 5/09