I do now feel much better and am determined to enjoy my grduation tomorrow.
Yay!
Quote:
She has now taken everythig away from me.
Has she truly taken everything away from you? No-one can take your H away unless he wants to go. Being exclusively the mother of his children is no big honour ---- being the mom of your children is. So, she has taken nothing away ---- only gotten the worst end of your H (his old age) and you still are the mother of your wonderful children. You will still be a huge part of his life up until he left ---- nothing can take that away, not even him. So, take solace in the happy times, and let him (the person he is now) go.
Okay, it must be obvious now that I love quotations (and I really don't know if Lincoln was bi-polar or not --- could he have then been both happy and sad at the same time?) so here's another to think about:
"The bird of paradise alights only upon the hand that does not grasp." John Berry, Flight of White Crows
Anyway, I am really thinking about you and so glad you went out to tea, and will be going to your graduation.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
Taking two days off was worthwhile as I worked through the pain and the weekend was much better. It really helped that throughout the weekend I had my children some, if not all, of the time here with me. It was good to see my parents as well.
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
as heartbreaking as the news was last week I think it was what I needed to finally move on. It will be hard and I'm sure there will be other down times BUT I actually feel more sadness for H than ever. He will be 62 when this new baby is 18. He was running away from committment and wanted his freedom but he clearly got lumbered with something far different. When I am that age I hope to be enjoying my grandchildren. He will have to juggle both (assuming that is that our children choose to give him access to thiers).
S16 has stayed here the last two nights. On Friday I was out and asked him if would at least pop in and make sure D14 was ok. I then rang him back and told him that providing he was sensible I didnt mind if he brought some friends round with him and said they could have a beer each. I know he is underage still but this is what his father has been allowing so I have to try and accpt that I perhaps need to treat him a similar manner. Not long after I left he TMd me asking if he could stay at my house for the night. OF course I jumped at the chance if only b/c it meant D14 would have company all evening.
Last night D14 and I wnet for a meal at the restaurnat where S16 works. It was a pleasant experience. Later I got a TM from him asking if he could stay again but that he would be in very late. I told him he could a long as he was considerate when he came in. I didn't sleep too good as I think I was listening out for him (parents curse) and wasn't best pleased when at 5am he still wasn't home. I tMd him saying that not coming home at all wasn't being considerate. He replied saying he was on his way back but it still took him another hour to arrive. He did ask if I had been sat up a ll night waiting for him and I replied no but nevertheless very tired b/c of it. We will see if I get an apology when he finally surfaces.
MIL fell over and broke her arm and shoulder on Friday. Apparently it wasn't a big fall but she has osteoporosis so she breaks bones easily. It was S16 who told me and even now H has not rang either of the girls to tell them himself. I sent him a TM yesterady morning asking how she was but he did not reply. I just ordered some flowers for her which will be delivered tomorrow. It's all I can do in the circumstances.
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
Checked in on you at times, and just saw the latest. How sad that your MIL has had her injury and I do hope her the best.
Your kids seem to be following their journey of unknown destination as safely as one can sometimes expect in these years. What might unsettle us today and raise our worst fears, often turns into lessons for the best in following days. Take all that patience that used to be devoted to saving the M, and apply it to the kids. And of course, save some for yourself.
Embrace the smallest moments of reconnecting with the kids and let them see that you enjoy it. Let them see you living your life with your head high and a little skip in your stride.
Teach them the joy of living the better life at the finish line. Continue to give yourself that personal reward. Congrats on finishing the degree and all the accomplishments in your career. It was also wonderful to read that you continue to go out socially, meeting friends and new people. Wouldn't it be hard to do that with a new baby on the way.
Live the Better Life. As for the problems of the world, Let It Go. Soak in a hot tub and drink some wine; I'm warming a fresh hot towel.
OMG W2S you always know when I need hot towels It's so good to hear from you again.
I'm really cross with S16 this morning. Last night he TMd me and asked if he could stay here after he had been out. After his dawn return last weekend I was very reluctant to say yes as I had to be up early for work this morning. So my first reply was that it depended on what time he was going to be home and gave my reasons. After several TMS backwards and forwards I agreed to him staying with the caveat that I wasn't that happy with the time he had set (4am) but providing he stuck to this he could come. I did highlight to him that this was his one chance to prove to me that I could trust his word. Needless to say I couldn't cos its now 7.30am and he still isn't home. I did TM him at 6 when my alarm went off and told him not to ask for this favour again stressing that I deserved more respect than what he had again shown me.
W2S you judging from your post you might think I did the wrong thing BUT I'm really fed up with the lack of respect my two younger children give me and I think it's time I showed them that I won't tolerate it anymore.
Right or wrong it's done now.
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
It's so good to hear from you again.