True, I'm glad you are enjoying your summer and keeping busy.
I was very sorry to see that you sent your xh a small sum of money. True, the amount of money was set high and believe me, he knew how to manipulate you once again. You've now set the stage for him to come to you every time he needs money. He knows that he can wiggle around your feelings and get what he wants, no matter how much.
Please think long and hard in the future about standing firm in not giving him money. Your xh is a grown man and he needs to take full responsibility for his life. You are now divorced and owe the man nothing at this point. I'm sorry if I sound harsh, but I do not like to see people manipulated for monetary gains. He knows he can get to you and I hope and pray he doesn't tray it again. It's not whether you can live cheaply, but the principle of the entire mess...he wanted out...he should now stand on his own two feet. After all, you are attempting to do that for yourself.
I do hope that the rest of your week is good for you. Please take what I'm saying w/a grain of salt...only you can decide what to do in your situation. I'm just voicing what I would do and have done when my xh has asked for things after the divorce.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Don't worry, I took what you said w/a grain of salt. However, I think I did the right thing due to other reasons I didn't mention here.
I sent XH an e-mail asking him to confirm receipt and I found it strange that I didn't hear from him anymore. I thought that he would reply perhaps next week. I almost got a shock when he phoned me yesterday! He has not done that for over one year apart from a few months ago when he had to go to hospital. He just talked as if he had gone away for the week-end and wanted to let me know he got there safely. He said that he had problems with his Internet provider and wanted to let me know he received the money. He said "Thank you" in the language I speak, which surprised me no end and I said "it is my pleasure". Then he asked me how I was and I said fine and asked him how he was and he also said fine. That was it since he talked from a cell phone. He sounded much happier than before.
Although he is not my responsibility anymore I am still more at peace that he won't ride a motor bike anymore. I guess I still love him!
I wish you a lovely week-end and hope your weather is more summery than ours. However, next week summer is supposed to return. Take care.
I just lost a reply to you. Well, I am trying to "reconstruct" it is again:
You know, just this minute I received a reply from the "Wednesday guy" to my e-mail I sent him yesterday. I noticed that he was not too happy about it.
I can usually tell the first time I meet somebody whether he is the right person for me or not. Only once I was wrong and that was exactly when I met the love of my life for the first time, i.e. my XH – LOL. I guess his smile and him being so funny made me change my mind.
The "Wednesday guy" looked quite good on the picture he sent me by e-mail but when I saw him I could tell immediately that he was not for me. Although we had a pleasant evening and laughed about a few things I just could not see me being with him.
I wish you more luck with your new guy, and have a lovely week-end. (((HUGS)))
I'm finally back in touch, thank you for thinking of me & posting to me on your board.
I still love my ex also, we can't help it! That's the way we are made I guess. You & I sound a lot alike. I'm still very worried about my ex & I wish I could at least hear from him. Oh well, maybe one of these days.
I still love my ex also, we can't help it! That's the way we are made I guess. You & I sound a lot alike.
Yes, that's the way we are made. - After all this time I am still amazed at how similar your sitch is to mine!
I have not been on the board for ages either but I am doing quite alright at the moment. I am still going out a lot and doing all kinds of things. I also received an e-mail from the dating platform I use regarding a singles club /social network in my area and my girlfriend and I tried it out last Friday. It has about 500 members and was not as bad as we thought – we had no expectations – LOL! We are also doing lots of other things together and hope that we will finally get to know some nice people.
I am still writing on the dating platform and am in touch with yet another guy. But I thought it will be the last time if it is another flop. I seem to go down cheeseless tunnels and will have to think of something else. I will try the social network club and see if I will meet somebody nice there. However, I noticed that I find the ladies to be nicer than the guys!
My XH has written often lately and is very pleased that he has a car. (Of course, he would be.) He even wrote that it was thanks to me he could buy it. He is telling me more about the things he does or intends to do and wrote that he hopes I am well. He has been much friendlier.
The weather is finally getting hot and lovely and I went swimming again today. Sometimes I get really mad at XH when I see all the others doing what we used to do in summer! I still ask myself how he was able to throw it all away and exchange his life for the one he has now. Oh well, I cannot change the past.
I wonder the same thing too....how are they able to throw everything away at the drop of a hat? 20 years we built together GONE in an instant. Why doesn't he think of me and how badly I hurt and what he did to us??
Me 55 H 49 Married 21 years No kids bomb 5/09 filed 7/09 divorced and moving forward 5/10
I agree with you & Golfgirl, how can they just throw away a wonderful life! Do they ever think of us & how happy we all once were.
I can't imagine my ex being happen with that OW he is with, especially since his best friend told him that when they broke up they would be back in touch & when they tell me it seems like she is a leader of a cult. My ex is not like that, he wants to be in control & OW is for sure.
Ok, enough! Sorry, didn't mean to go on.
It sounds like you are getting out & enjoying!! I think that is great!!
