Now, if I could only figure out what will draw her back. I know, what I'm doing, so long as I am leading and working on me.
Well the fact you did not try to "rescue" her from her feeling sick from all her stress, is one fantastic way of drawing her back! I am so proud of you!! If you had been running in and out of the room trying to pamper her when she was feeling badly, I promise you that she would not have gotten up in a good mood and taking part in the family evening. Can you look back and see how you did all of that just exactly like you needed to? You weren't acting like a jerk....but you didn't try to rescue her from her problems!
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
