Thanks eye. Adultery is NOT grounds for divorce in the state of NY. It is still on the books as a misdemeanor. As my L told me once, if everyone went to criminal court for adultery, the court systems would be jammed and come to a stop.
Separation, for most WAW's...is not a means to 'mull it over' for the most part. If you read, most separations occur because there is another man in the picture and/or, the WAW aims for a slow death for the marriage. Once separation occurs, the majority go on to divorce. Separation...is NOT a postive.
In addition, if the H is the main bread winner, separation is a disadvantage as you will most likely end up paying MORE than in a divorce decree. According to my L, those divorces that start with separation, are the ones that last forever and drag on forever. The total support award is usually so high, that most WAS's don't want it to end. The only reason to either agree to sep or file for sep is a serious indication that there is hope for reconciliation...one of the biggest forms of denial here. Food for thought.
Bottom line..if your W wants a separation, chances are extremely high that there is or was an OM out there.
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
