Summer 2009

[BeingMe]

S will come home by November, quite possibly sooner. D will turn 17 soon after. Dick will have Christmas with D, Spring Break, and next summer and then the last Christmas with D.... after that, it will be ours to share. Both children believe they will be going to college locally for their first two years... which will mean we will have time to re-establish our family and our traditions. The thoughts of this soothes my heart and soul, as we will finally begin rebuilding our lives.

This is something to really look forward to. I believe that your strength and fortitude in spite of what has happened, and your fighting for your kids, will make the difference in changing the course that your XH's family has taken. You have been a great example.

As for your XH's lawyer .... ppft! If she wants to present a bunch of lies to the court then how stupid is she. She doesn't deserve any acknowledgement. She has wasted your time enough and the time it takes just for a nod in her direction is time wasted. Sorry! But, I believe that lawyers should tell the truth in court and they should advise their clients to do the same. (I know, I know, unrealistic expectations in this world, 'eh!) I don't believe she didn't know because she had the evidence and yet allowed this travesty of justice just so she could win. Ugh!

Anyway, soon your children and you will be under one roof again. Getting them into counselling I think is a brilliant idea, as is a medical and dental check-up.

Take care.

[Between Tears]

BeingMe,

I have made several requests to have the children maintain the counseling that was started years ago. Of course, Dick believes only people with severe problems go to counseling... and what seems funny, the Mom with my D fears that she will be told she wouldn't be a good choice to have D with her, or that D belongs at home, so she won't take D, while the people who have S, are just as afraid to go. I guess people don't truly understand counseling.... Counseling isn't for the weak, but for the strong. Let's face it, we all have our quirks, they have come from living... counseling helps one learn to live with are ourselves and others better.

As for me, giving the children a safe place to talk, vent, express themselves along with being given ideas to help them, or be given ways of being a better parent for them or to them, is ideal for our situation. I can't wait to start it up again. Making sure the kids have the appropriate care is just the thing I need, I will feel useful again.

S hasn't been to a dentist in over two years now, neither have had their teeth cleaned in over a year... D needs the Gardisil shot, and both need their sports physicals too. It will be nice to be able to get these things done.

Needles to say, I'm focused on the future.... yet, I need to remember to live in today also.

[Between Tears]

Oh, now I'm angry....

I just found out Jane, on her own, waited until my children were in the van on their way here, then took their birds and "gave them away". Not a word was spoken to the kids, not a word.

My daughter runs upstairs to her room to check on her bird, and found no cage, no bird, nothing, she then ran to her brother's room and found the same.

How could they? If they didn't want the birds, they could have packed them up and brought them here with the children! Was this punishment for wanting to live in and go to school in Kansas?

I am so angry.... the kids loved the birds, as they also spent their own money on those birds (okay, so I sent them money, but it was their money). They had no right!!!!!

To do it in such an under handed way.... just reeks of them!

[mermaid]

Hi Laughing,
I know you will be laughing again soon but not soon enough for all that you have been through. I know this is not the way the children should grow up but you have set up a good solid foundation for them and this will help them survive until you can be re-united. I can see you all together again catching up on all that lost time although it will be about making new and better memories. There will not be anything lurking in the shadows to ruin your lives because Dick will not be able to do anything.

I am sure with all of the financial troubles Dick and Jane are experiencing she will probably ditch him soon for her new sugar daddy.

I am sorry about the birds. They were keeping your children sane for now but I know you will fill your house with pets for them when they return.

Your children will come through this and land on their feet because of you.

[Andabelle]

The idiots are doing everything possible to turn the kids against them.

Thank God your kids have you.

[Between Tears]

Well, a lot has gone on since I last posted. I had to find another job. Basically, the same job, yet at less pay and no insurance. My last job became so unbelievable cut throat, I just knew they were looking for something, because I was told I was becoming a liability on the company's insurance. We were told the reason the company had to switch insurance companies, because the old insurance company's rates went up too high for our company to afford. We were told in order to keep our insurance, we needed to keep our costs down. I had already watched them replace another individual my age, replaced with a young kid, and they were getting ready to do it with another person who was my age, when I jumped on board with this new job. They had already brought a young kid in for me to train...

This new job is straight days, and this is better for me in court. Less money is going to be tough, I'm not sure if I can make it on what I make now, however, I'm working now, and waiting for something better to come into view.

As for the kids, S has been doing great since he's been back. So much happier, and now enjoying the rest of his summer. D will be back in a couple of weeks. She is still enjoying her job, wants to finish the summer out with them, and plans on buying a car with the money she makes.

I've heard from Dick via various emails. He is still very angry, playing the blame game, and trying to keep me under his thumb, anxious or fearful, while projecting on me, the many things he has done or is doing.

At some level, I see his own guilt for the things he has done... thanks to many hours given to me by Snodderly, and the hours in Counseling. I see through his statements, able to read between the lines, and decipher the meaning behind his diatribe.

He accuses me of manipulating the situation, the history, blames me for running up a credit card to over $30,000 and then having it sent to his address.... as he told me there is a judgment against me, as they have raided my checking account and took my vehicles. Geez, I wonder if I can convince my electric company to send my bills to his house too? No, I don't think it will happen, nor did I run up the credit card he is speaking of, but I'm sure his credit cards are showing totals that high.

He blames me for brainwashing the children, says I'm going to loose them for good. Says I only have one more year of school, and the children are going to see through all that has gone on, as will the people who live in this town, who now, are watching me.

Oh, there's lots he has said, in fact, I don't remember the last time he spent so much time emailing me. He's not receiving the responses he thinks he should. I'm not being nice either, my last response, I told him he was down right hilarious.... Yeah, a five or six word sentence in response to his three or four paragraph email. He has taken a lot of time trying to convince me I'm nothing but a piece or garbage... I guess he is giving it his best to keep me where he can control me, keep me fearful, or maybe as angry as he is. It's not working, I'm so far past that stage in my life, although I think I should be trying to find a place where he thinks he's winning, and lull him into believing he still has control. I'm just not ready to play that way, I still need to be honest with the way I feel or see things, therefore, tell him I find what he says funny.

Yeah, I know, I need to do better, and I can... for on some level, I too must be wanting this to continue.... somehow or someway, or I'm trying to "make" him see he has lost controll over me and I'm stronger than he is....

Ahh, well, this too will change, and change when I'm ready to grow up.

[job]

L,
I'm glad you posted. Sorry to hear about the job situation, but day work is far better in the long run. You'll make it. I have faith in you.

As for the children...I'm glad your son is doing okay. Your daughter is my concern, but as long as she's working, she's got an outlet for her frustrations and away from them for a period of time. She's got goals and she'll meet them in time.

Now about, the @ss, his projections are his own view of his life, and of course, he's got to blame someone for his mistakes. Unfortunately, you are the nearest one at hand. As for the credit card debt....anyone should be able to look at the dates of the purchases and know you didn't make them. Keep all of his emails in a safe place and have them ready to pull out if you need them. When he's on such a tirade, just say, I'm very sorry about how you feel. I hope things get better for you and then just drop it. Don't fuel his fire with any comments. The less you say to him, especially in black and white, the better.

Please take care of yourself.

[BeingMe]

When he's on such a tirade, just say, I'm very sorry about how you feel.

Or, don't reply at all. That will drive him up the wall.

[Between Tears]

Okay Snodderly and BeingMe,

I'll grow up, err, well maybe a little. I will explain to BeingMe, that not speaking to Dick causes more heartache, for he takes me to court if he can't get a rise out of me. Sure, he takes me to court anyway, but without responding in the manner I have, I have no clue what the next hearing is about.

Making him angry, causes him to spill the beans. I hear about all the things he's angry about, and in turn, have an opportunity to find all the documentation I need to prove his allegations are lies.... The last two Hearings it's worked like a charm, hence the differences in the last two hearing and their outcome.

I'm not sure patronizing him is going to work... "I'm sorry you feel this way." may just send him in another direction, which could be good or bad. He's one angry camper, and if he doesn't vent on me, who will he go? I don't think he's capable of becoming happy any time soon.

At least this way, I'll eventually prove to the court he's been lying since the begining of this case. I don't think it will take another Hearing or two before Dick will be seen for the @ss he is.

I'll sleep on it, and see if my subconsious mind has anything to say.

Good Night, Sweet Dreams...

[BeingMe]

Okay, I understand why you respond ... makes a lot of sense.