Well...

[Trixi]

Good job SD. FIB makes some interesting points about DBing and denial, etc.

My H has repeatedly said that he's a "good person" and "he'd do anything" if someone needed him to. Once he said he'd 'lay down his life for a stranger'. Maybe it's mean of me, but the last time he said something along those lines I said "yeah, you say you'd do that, but you won't commit to someone you say you love. Interesting."

I hope your H is doing what he said he would (ie "proving it") and I hope that in this process, you'll be able to get some of what you want. Right now, it sounds like the perfect storm may be brewing. I don't have advice, just observing that it sounds like you are on the cusp of being a WAS yourself.